This story is so stupid it could only be true. One day I was riding on the bus, and as usual I was late to where I was going. As I sat down towards the rear of the bus, I noticed this sleazy looking guy sitting across from me. The next thing I know, he was picking his nose. Now I don't know what posseses people to pick their nose in public. You think they would know better and show some decency.

Anyway, he spent a few minutes digging and then ended up with a giant booger on his finger. He started rolling it between his thumb and index finger, and I thought to myself, "Now he's going to flick it." Sure enough, he tried to flick it. However, it must have been too sticky or something because it wouldn't leave his thumb everytime he tried to flick. He tried several times in vain but couldn't get rid of the booger. He had this look on his face like, "Gee, what do I do now?"

In a move that only a true idiot would do, he wiped the booger onto the seat next to him. I thought to myself, "Why would anyone do this? What kind of sick upbringing did he have? If everything in life is decreed by fate, what purpose could this possibly have?" I kept thinking that this was the kind of thing you go to Hell for. Now some poor person would probably come and unsuspectingly sit on the booger.

Well, we came along to the next bus stop. Someone was trying to get on and there seemed to be some sort of commotion. A woman in her mid-twenties was getting on the bus, and with her she had a baby in a stroller. She might not have had such a hard time getting on the bus if she wasn't turning around every two seconds to talk to a woman who was standing on the sidewalk. She kept saying to the woman on the sidewalk, "Oh, you're so good, you're the best, I love you so much, blah blah blah, etc." Apparently the woman on the sidewalk was her mother. So the woman with the stroller finally gets on the bus, but before she can pay her bus fare she turns around once more and screams at the top of her lungs, "GOODBYE MOMMY! I LOVE YOU MOMMY! YOU'RE THE BEST! GOODBYE MOMMY! ETC."

By now all of the passengers, myself included, are growing impatient. The woman then opens her purse to look for change for the bus fare. This took about another two minutes. Don't you just hate it when people get on the bus and don't have their fare ready? Anyway, she then went to take her seat. Now usually, bus drivers will start the bus up again as soon as everyone has paid the fare, regardless of whether they have found a seat or not. I guess that since this woman had a baby with her, he decided to wait for her to sit down. I never saw anyone walk so slow in my life. By now this whole thing had taken a good five minutes.

As you can probably guess, she chose to sit on the seat with the giant booger on it. My only thought was, "Serves her right." But she wasn't done yet! She was in her seat for two seconds and the driver just started to pull away when she leaped up and screamed, "DRIVER! WAIT!" The driver slammed on the brakes and everyone lurched forward. There were several elderly people on board who could have suffered whiplash. Was there some horrible emergency that precipitated this outburst? Was anyone's life in danger? The woman then looked out the window and shouted to her mommy, "WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?" Apparently her mommy was waving goodbye and the woman thought she was trying to tell her something. The woman then went back to her seat and yelled, "DRIVER, NEVERMIND."

Now of course the first thing I noticed when the woman leaped up from her seat was that the booger was no longer on it, which meant that it was now stuck to the seat of her pants. Do I really think she deserved this? Absolutely! It was a just punishment for the crime of being an idiot. She annoyed and delayed every single person on that bus, and frightened several passengers when she brought the bus to an abrupt halt. As for the guy who put the booger on the seat in the first place, I'm sure he'll get his one day soon as well.