The Dendrite Alumni Association may be the world's largest group. Qualifications for membership are simple, you must have been employed at Dendrite International at one time. Current Dendrite employees are also eligible to join on the theory that they will be leaving soon anyway.
The DAA maintains a list of e-mail addresses of members. This performs two functions. First it allows the world's largest network to stay in touch. Second it provides support for those who are contemplating the horrible step of going back. A 12 step program for those who need it is now available. The e-mail list is maintained by John Grosso. Instructions for being added can be found on his page.
The DAA also holds numerous events (mostly in bars). These events often (but not always) are held in honor of new members. Sometimes it's just an excuse to sit around and bitch about Dendrite. But no matter what, a good time is had by all. A calendar of upcoming events will be a regular feature of this page. Check back on Fridays or Mondays as these are the days when most people give their notice. Members of the S&H group can check out Cheese's S&H Page.
We are proud to see that the DAA is not purely an American phenomenon. Visit our brothers across the sea. Also you can visit some of our Spanish brethren.
For those who still care (or still own some) you can get the latest stock quote.
The following cartoon was given to Ron Gemeinhardt upon his joining the DAA.
The following message came from Glen Rossi announcing his leaving Dendrite. It's also probably the funniest thing I've read this year. Hope you enjoy it as much as I did.
Hello everyone, I just wanted to pass on this bit of information about myself. these are some significant experiences I have had and accomplishments that I have realized in the past year, that have helped me define myself as a person. (please read to the end, thanks).
I am a dynamic figure, often seen scaling walls and crushing ice. I have been known to remodel train stations on my lunch breaks, making them more efficient in the area of heat retention. I translate ethnic slurs for Cuban refugees, I write award-winning operas, I manage time efficiently. Occasionally, I tread water for three days in a row.
I woo women with my sensuous and godlike trombone playing, I can pilot bicycles up several inclines with unflagging speed, and I cook Thirty-Minute Brownies in twenty minutes. I am an expert in stucco, a veteran in love, and an outlaw in Peru.
Using only a hoe and a large glass of water, I once single-handedly defended a small village in the Amazon Basin from a horde of ferocious army ants. I play bluegrass cello, I was scouted by the Mets, I am the subject of numerous documentaries. When I'm bored, I build large suspension bridges in my yard. I enjoy urban hang gliding. On Wednesdays, after work, I repair electrical appliances free of charge.
I am an abstract artist, a concrete analyst, and a ruthless bookie. Critics worldwide swoon over my original line of corduroy evening wear. I don't perspire. I am a private citizen, yet I receive fan mail. I have been caller number nine and have won the weekend passes. Last summer I toured New Jersey with a traveling centrifugal-force demonstration. I bat .400. My deft floral arrangements have earned me fame in international botany circles. Children trust me.
I can hurl tennis rackets at small moving objects with deadly accuracy. I once read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick, and David Copperfield in one day and still had time to refurbish an entire dining room that evening. I know the exact location of every food item in the supermarket. I have performed several cover operations for the CIA. I sleep once a week; when I do sleep, I sleep in a chair. While on vacation in Canada, I successfully negotiated with a group of terrorists who had seized a small bakery. The laws of physics do not apply to me.
I balance, I weave, I dodge, I frolic, and my bills are all paid. On weekends, to let off steam, I participate in full-contact origami. Years ago I discovered the meaning of life but forgot to write it down. I have made extraordinary four course meals using only a mouli and a toaster oven. I breed prizewinning clams. I have won bullfights in San Juan, cliff-diving competitions in Sri Lanka, and spelling bees at the Kremlin. I have played Hamlet, I have performed open-heart surgery, and I have spoken with Elvis.
Oh yea, and I just quit DENDRITE!!! Thats right hell froze over, pigs are flying and earth just invaded Mars. Its the end of an era that many of you probably thought would never come! Well after seven L-O-N-G years and seeing you all quit by the thousands, my sentance is over and I am setting myself free of the tyrannical world we all have known as Dendrite. But for those of you still there or you fools who havent sold their stock yet, fear not because I am sure that even though I will no longer be there, Dendrite will still flourish under the newly appointed rule of Cruela (T.W.) with her uncanny ability to make such amazingly helpful business decisions such as, No jeans on dress down day, hardware services must now all wear Ties, and only allowing someone one day off when a family member dies! These and other great managment decisions will be sure to keep the world of dendrite, (which we all know the rest of the real world revolves around.) in business for MOMENTS to come. Oh yes and I cannot forget to give thanks to the savior of the J and J account, Kim (the Bridge Troll) last name witheld to protect the innocent but it rhymes with Hills and starts with an M. she has shown me the light to move on, actually I've had to report to her for the last few weeks and I HAD TO GET THE FUCK OUT!!! But enough about me, how have all of you been? Ok back to me. Now I guess all of you realize that it is PARTY TIME. and I know all of you want to come because I love you guys and I pretty much went to all of yours. Those of you still there....well I guarantee I will go to yours, just make it quick if you are smart. I can't resist a good going away party anyway, shit I've been to something like over 250 of them in seven years. So hears the deal:
my last day is friday aug. 8th. that night the festivites begin at PHOEBES in Morristown (It may actually be called Jimmys by that time) Time: lets say around 6:00 Please come and join in on such activites as sacrificing a Bridge Troll doll, Burning Dendrite parphenillia, and OH YEA I ALMOST FORGOT YOU COULD WIN THE RAFFLE and be the PERSON That GETS TO CUT MY HAIR. Thats right cut my hair.(were talking 6 years of growth here). Now isnt that worth the price of admission alone. espcially since there is no price for admission.
So anyway if you need directions write back or call me 425-2281. And all of you who work with other ex-dendriters, which is pretty much all of you, please let them know. I tried to get hold of as many email addressess as I could but I sure dont think I covered them all. This is gonna be one last great reunion party, so please come, I dont want to hear no for an answer, unless you live in california (dink) or florida (crapper).
once again place: PHOEBES in morristown date: 8/8/97 time: 6:00 or whenever the hell you get there. Of course I may be shit faced by 6:30, but I still would like to see ya, and I'm sure most of ya would like to see some of the oldtimers.
Take care, and I hope to see you all. :=)
-GLEN (I'm Not a lifer damnit) ROSSI.-
PS.anyone know Kims email address?
Special attention for : Kate or Dawn- can either of you contact Kathryn. Mike L. and Tom N.- Bill Johnstone will be there, he said to tell you that. Ken-You better just fly your ass in to NJ if you are out of town.
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