Do Not Read Before Eating.

I have eaten much in life
    Which has caused me great stress and strife,
But I had not yet to have found
    Anything which could not be downed!
But, hence! What should I find?!?
    Than cauliflower with a rind!
And ham with hair,
    Soup that did stare,
Beef from a trough,
    Cream of a sloth,
Chicken that could crawl,
    Brocolli with a drawl,
Spaghetti that merely reeked,
    Patties that creaked,
Mashed potatoes with fat,
    Corn that went splat,
Hamburgers strait from the rack,
    And fish that did bite back.
"Ah," to some I explain,
    "These come from sewer of the brain!"
Still, why do beans bubble,
    And carrots taste as rubble?
'Tis simple, my boy,
    All is but a ploy,
To prove the existence of evolution
    Gladly paid for by our own institution.