Player: I swing at the dragon!!
GM: You hit and deal no damage. It doesn't seem to be attacking.
Player: I swing at the dragon AGAIN!
GM: You hit and deal no damage. It is still not attacking...
Player: I swing at the dragon AGAIN!!
GM: You STILL aren't doing any damage. Your blow seems to be going THROUGH it, it's not striking back!
Player: I swing at the dragon AGAIN!!!
GM: You DON"T DO ANYTHING TO IT!!
Player: Uhh... Maybe it's an illusion...
Guard: We're going to keep an eye on you.
The gnome wild mage pulls out a jar of eye of newt. "I have several, want one?"
MOMENT OF QUIET
Player: I want to hear the description before we jump off a 100 story pillar.
After a rope burn on the character's hands...
Player with burns: It's a good thing I'm ambidexterous
Another player: He's going to be lonely tonight.
Player after dealing with a baby griffon: Anyone want to die so that the griffon can have food.
Non-healer to healer: Lady Fileris, do you have any wounds you need attended to?
NPC: It is the most vile evil place where no light dwells.
Player: Isn't that where dwarves come from?
NPC: You are on the 10th plane of Hell.
Player: Hrmm... it's not on the brochures, maybe it opens next fall...
Player: We don't need enemies, we just need each other.
GM to player 1: Your body hits the ground.
Player 2: We need your stuff.
Druid: I'm making breakfast. If there is a cow around, it's steak and eggs.
GM: Hi, how ya doin'. Can I eat you?
Druid: She was pretty cute, beard and all.
Player: I've never done it this way, but perhaps if you don't look at me while doing it...
After the fireball burns off the swashbuckler's shorts...
Druid: Chestnuts roasting on an open fire...
Female thief anounces she was going to sleep in the Swashbuckler's bed as he was sleeping on her table.
Druid: I heard this roumer, mylady. On the table? How kinky!
Player: Let's leave him tied up in an alley with two gulley dwarves standing over him when he wakes up.
Gulley dwarf: Hey, Bob, our pea-stone just moved!
New player: I can't believe the party thief is in charge of the gold.
Player: Survival tip for the Forgotten Realms... Never call TORM Mr. T.
Player: We're shovelling the shit now.
Dwarf: I've got mining proficiency!
Dwarves: We're heading for the ale.
"Romantic" Swashbucker: Lady, may I be excused to wander the halls?
Player to everyone: I want my crap back.
GM: You do realize you're in the stables...
Swashbuckler is upside down from a tree butt naked after trying to catch the women bathing.
(Female) Swanmay: How's it hanging?
After killing a particularly tough monster...
Player: He had a lot of guts, though. I know. I can see them.
Player: Don't answer the riddle; kill the sphinx.
Player: That which does not kill me had better be able to run away damn fast.
Guest at the campsite: You let the NECROMANCER cook dinner?!?
Dwarf: Orc, the other white meat.
GM's note: If you're invisible and get to -1 and are unconscious bleeding, your friends can't find you to heal you...
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