If rednecks were Asian...

Instead of lawn furniture they'd have chopstick window ornaments.
Tea bags would be strewn everywhere.
The gut would protrude from the kimono.
Rice and chitlins would be a gourmet meal.
The bicycle would be up on blocks.
There would be "Velvet Buhda" posters everywhere.
The mail order catalog would have cheep European knockoffs.
The wife would go about in a fuzzy pink kimono.
Her hair curled around dozens of chopsticks
There would be a "Beware of Carp" sign on the door.
Ashtrays full of clove cigerette butts everywhere.
"The guys" would come over for a high stakes game of Go.
"The boys" would come over for Monday Night Sumo.

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