Dear Ate Helen,
I'm writing you about Ben. We're in our twenties and we both work in Makati. In fact, we used to be officemates. I've known him for almost two years now and all the time, I've been in love with him, although we are just friends and he has a girlfriend he intends to marry.
Ate Helen, I can't help but fall in love with him. He's perfect; responsible, intelligent, resourceful, thoughful, loving, sweet, caring, upright, kind, family-oriented and a God-fearing individual. His good looks is just an added bonus. I can't believe such a man still exists today and I will forever be thankful for his friendship.
It pains me to be so in-love with him because he and his girlfriend are perfect for each other and are so happy being together. I don't know if he's aware of my feelings for him. But winning his heart, I think, is out of the question.
His girlfriend is too precious for him. Losing her would truly hurt him, and I don't want to see him in pain. I know, however, that a part of me wishes for him to reciprocate my love. But he's just too good for me. He deserves someone better, like the girl he has now.
Knowing he's happy with her is enough consolation for me. I want his happiness even if it means my own despair. Goodness knows how much I'm suffering. Writing this letter alone is already torture.
I've been trying very hard to forget him. I've done ways I know to free myself. Pero ang kulit talaga ng puso ko, ayaw sumunod. Ate Helen, I haven't seen or talked to him for a long time and I thought his absence would somehow cool down the feeling, but it hasn't. I dont want to miss him, but I do miss him terribly. How can I forget him?
Whenever I see a place, a thing or a situation, my mind automatically associates it with him. His memories occupy most of my waking and sleeping hours. His face pops into my mind in the middle of my lunch, when I'm talking with my friends, cleaning our house or just doing something which has nothing to do with him but reminds me of him anyway.
Odd, but true. I'm not bitter Ate Helen. I don't blame myself, him nor God for this situation. As a matter of fact, I'm thankful, painfully odd as it is, that this situation has made me the more mature person that I am now. But I can't help ask myself why should a woman, or a man for that matter, fall for another when they are not meant for each other? Why Ate Helen? Why?
You know Ate Helen, whenever I pray, I always ask God to help me let go of this love. I just want to feel the same way he feels for me -- as a friend and nothing more. I know I can get through this because I believe that God wouldn't give me something He knows I can't handle.
Someday I will be able to smile again without being hurt when I remember him. God has His reason for all of these and until I know the reasons, I want to hear words from you. Please Ate Helen, help me.
Sincerely,
Robert
Ate Helen's Advice:
Dear Robert,
Lintek kang bakla ka pinagod mo pa ako sa pagbasa ng letter mo! Malandi! Tigilan mo na ang ilusyon mo, hindi mo kayang ibigay kay Ben ang kayang ibigay ng girlfriend niya. Sa susunod na sumulat ka pa sa akin, ipapapatay kita!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ate Helen
Marahil, sa kaniyang buong linggong pakikipaglaban sa mga mamamatay-tao't mga magnanakaw at pakikipagtunggali sa iba't iba pang di kanais nais na mga alagad ng krimen, naisip ni Superman na aliwin ang sarili.
Biyernes na nga naman at matagal-tagal na rin siyang hindi nakakapag-"hot date" kaya't siya'y muling nagsahimpapawid upang bisitahin si Batwoman. Nang maka"landing" si Superman sa condo ni Batwoman, nagpaumanhin si Batwoman sa imbitasyon ni Superman sapagkat si Batwoman daw ay niratnan ng kaniyang buwanang bisita ("have") kaya hindi niya puwede paluguran si Superman.
Nagsahimpapawid na naman si Superman at naglanding sa townhouse ni Catwoman. Muling nagimbita si Batman na mag-"hot date" sila ni Catwoman. Bago nakasagot si Catwoman, kumatok sa pinto at pumasok si Batman. Meron na palang date si Catwoman at sinusundo na nga ni Batman.
Muling nagsahimpapawid at paligid-ligid si Superman sa Gotham City na medyo naiinis na. Sa pamamagitan ng kaniyang x-ray vision, biglang nasipat ni Superman si Wonder Woman na nagsa-sunbathing sa lanai ng penthouse niya… at wala pang suot na damit! Habang lumilipad na papalapit si Superman, napansin pa ni Superman na, hindi lang hubo't hubad si Wonder Woman kundi mukhang handang handa na ang napakagandang babaing ito para sa isang "hot date" sapagkat may pagiling-giling pa si Wonder Woman habang nagsa-sunbathing!
Gamit ang kaniyang "super speed," lumipad ng napakabilis si Superman… biglang nag-landing sa lanai at, sa paggamit pa rin ng kaniyang "super speed," bigla siyang nakipagtalik kay Wonder Woman. Sa bilis ng "super speed" ni Superman… sa madaling sabi, naganap ang lahat sa isa lang kisap mata!
Biglang nagsahimpapawid si Superman… sabay ang pagmumura… putragis! putragis na 'yan… putragis!
Bigla ring bumangon si Wonder Woman sa kaniyang pagkakahiga at nagtanong, "Ano ba yung nangyari at biglang halos hindi ako makahinga sa bigat ng aking naramdaman na nakapatong sa akin?"
At bigla ring narinig ang isang misteryosong boses… "Hindi ko alam pero, diyos ko, talaga namang bigla ring sumakit ng pagkasakit-sakit ang tumbong ko! Kirot! Hapdi! Aray ko..." sagot naman ni Invisible Man.
Pinoy sa telepono: Heylo? Can I talk Manny?
Kasama: Itama mo ang Inglis mo! Idagdag mo... "to!"
Pinoy sa telepono: Heylo? Can I talk Manny to?
and to the foreign chapters of the fraternity of husbands composed of
YUKUZA (Yuko sa Asawa),
SANSUI (Isang Sutsot, Uwi) at
UTIN (Unyon ng mga Tatay na Inaapi ng mga Nanay).....
When you say: "Ako ang tigas sa amin."
You really mean: "Ako ang tigas-saing ng kanin, tigas-sampay ng labada at tigas-sundo sa eskuwela ng mga bata."
When you say: "Gagawin ko kahit ayaw ng misis ko."
You really mean: "Gagawin kong maghugas ng pinggan kung ayaw niya, gagawin kong maglaba kung ayaw niya."
When you say: "Kapag sinabi kong hiwalay, HIWALAY!"
You really mean: "Hiniwalay ko na ang puti sa de-kolor at baka kumupas ang labada."
When you say: "Lahat ng utos ko ay pasigaw."
You really mean: "Hoy bilisan mo naman iyang kape at giniginaw na ako dito sa labahan!"
When you say: "Ako ang laging nasusunod!"
You really mean: "Oo, dear susunod na ako sa iyo sa palengke."
When you say: "Nakukuha ko siya sa isang salita!"
You really mean: "Honey, huwag mo na akong batukan at masakit!"
When you say: "Inaabot siya sa akin ng mura!"
You really mean: "'Ling naman, mura lang naman iyong sapatos na bibilhin ko!"
When you say: "Nakukuha ko siya sa isang tingin!"
You really mean: "Hon, patingin naman ng periodiko pagkatapos mong basahin."
When you say: "Kaya ko siyang paluhurin!"
You really mean: "Paluhod niyang sinabing 'Hoy duwag, lumabas ka riyan sa ilalim ng kama kungdi tatamaan ka sa akin!'"
When you say: "Hindi niya ako kayang paglabahin!"
You really mean: "Hindi puede kasi hindi pa ako tapos mamalantsa."
*** Bato-bato sa langit. Ang tamaan BUTI NGA'
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