Where there is love there is life

The Sentinel

Smarm Sanctuary

Inner Sanctum

Tread softly here, Seeker, you have reached the Central Mystery of the Temple. This is who we are.


by Martha and Kitty

Chapter 1 He thought briefly of Naomi, and grief closed around his heart

Chapter 2 Either was an end to the torment, the only goal he had left

Chapter 3 A fear so large he couldn't name it yet

Chapter 4 Listening for the sound of that heart, and its truth. Finding his own there.

Chapter 5 Though he had nothing to give, not even his own self left to offer, he tried

Chapter 6 He hadn't known anything could be worse than Jim's madness

Chapter 7 This time, Blair stayed down

Chapter 8 All that strength and beauty held in abeyance, in sacrifice

Chapter 9 But his heart was naked

Chapter 10 Blair felt the white heat again

Chapter 11 In the soft silence of the fog-bound morning like a lost god

Chapter 12 Closer to the end of the hurting

Chapter 13 Beating in his breast like a living thing

Chapter 14 Whatever it takes, Jim. Now and forever.

Chapter 15 His heart taking over before his mind could convince him not to try

Chapter 16 The gulls were getting louder

Chapter 17 It was the end of Jim's life

Chapter 18 Blair heard the surrender in his voice

Chapter 19 Surrounded entirely by Blair's living presence

Chapter 20 Blair decided he would not speak again

Chapter 21 His eyes were open, clear, their brilliant blue more achingly bright than the morning sky overhead

Chapter 22 Rest, Jim. I'll be right here

Chapter 23 The memories could still be read plainly, scrawled across his body

Chapter 24 He wouldn't allow Blair to partake of such a bitter feast

Chapter 25 Deaf and blind, at peace

Chapter 26 Quiet blueness as he looked into Blair's eyes

Chapter 27 Though his voice was furious, his touch was gentle

Chapter 28 All I had to do was get you off the beach, and then everything would be all right

Chapter 29 His entire life had been only prologue and preparation for this moment at Jim's side. Nothing else would ever matter so much.

Chapter 30 Jim in agony, beyond his help forever

Chapter 31 Didn't I promise you that? Didn't I promise?

Chapter 32 Blair must love your strength

Chapter 33 He would take his death, if they wouldn't give it to him

Chapter 34 As though a soul in hell had been granted voice

Chapter 35 Nothing I hate more than getting caught in the rain

Chapter 36 A pristine white beach in the heat of mid afternoon

Chapter 37 His weakness had brought Jim to this, and Jim's weakness had let him do it

Chapter 38 Soul stripped bare as his flesh

Chapter 39 The same strength that would take them both home

Chapter 40 For the courage that made him strong, for the strength that made him beautiful

Chapter 41 A man who could touch him that way loved him enough to make anything possible

Chapter 42 I'll be more careful next time

Chapter 43 The hills were still dusky with the flush of spring

Chapter 44 The heat of a tear scalded his thumb

Chapter 45 Souvenirs of the journey

Chapter 46 A glimpse of the life Blair would help him reclaim

Chapter 47 The ease their closeness brought him

Chapter 48 Blair's faith and laughter

Chapter 49 No music and damned little grace

Chapter 50 Rest, and I'll be right here

Chapter 51 Had kind of a rough night

Chapter 52 The painful, joyous weight

Chapter 53 Accepting without surrendering

Chapter 54 The ocean of betrayal in Blair's eyes

Chapter 55 They hurt him

Chapter 56 Like talking to a crazed jumper

Chapter 57 Needles of language

Chapter 58 Might be great coffee

Chapter 59 Blair's smile was almost enough

Chapter 60 Cold and heavy going down

Chapter 61 The drift was fast and easy

Chapter 62 Seeping into their combined soul and darkening Blair's eyes

Chapter 63 Smiled back at him with contented trust

Chapter 64 Without anyone losing a finger

Chapter 65 You're not going to believe this, man, but I haven't got anything to say

Chapter 66 As though Blair had taken the pain first

Chapter 67 Such a minor, fragile victory

Chapter 68 We're done with room service

Chapter 69 Used everything up and not finished the job

Chapter 70 Feeling quite young

Chapter 71 The spaces between gasped breaths

Chapter 72 Constellations of time and agony

Chapter 73 No son of mine

Chapter 74 From the May to the roses

Chapter 75 His father's house

Chapter 76 Not innocent

Chapter 77 Low and golden through the windows

Chapter 78 He was all alone


Beach is an unfinished story being released serially. The posting schedule has, unfortunately, become completely random despite our best efforts to maintain a reliable presence. Therefore, in order to provide convenient access for our readers, a list has been created through which the chapters (and possibly other TS smarm) will be mailed to subscribers. This list is open to anyone who wishes to join, at the Beach List subscription page. Thank you for your patience and support.

Note: When this story is complete, a revised and re-edited version will be released in print. The zine will be illustrated by Marty Siegrist and published by Monte Cristo - Amethyst Press as a high-quality collector's edition with a limited print run. If you are interested in reserving a copy of the zine, write to Kitty.

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