|Your humble archivist has
written a few mistings as well, and they are collected here for your reading
Arena Toshinden, by author unknown
Take a bunch of martial artists
and give them a flimsy excuse to fight each other. Now, forget about that
flimsy excuse. That's a good description of this story, except it's not
quite as polished.
Trek and Babylon 5 are DEAD! Long Live STARSHIP TROOPERS and the (real)
Federation's Mobile Infantry! by MKSheppard
A rant about how "Starship Troopers"
is the defining movie of the 1990s. Yep, it's even better that Carrottop's
"Chairman of the Board."
by Stephen Ratliff
Three short stories by Mr. Ratliff.
The Kids' Crew write diary entries. Then Marrissa pretends she's Sailor
Moon. And finally, Kirk, Spock and some Klingons burst into a number from
Pacific. Misted by myself, and Bill
Livingston, with help from
Little Challenge, by Stephen Ratliff and others
One day over on alt.startrek.creative,
Mr. Ratliff issued a challenge to the other authors to create a story
where the characters in their stories get revenge on them. The results
were then riffed in this collection of mistings., including two by
Mr. Ratliff. Winner of the 1998 ASC Best Misting Award. Misted
by Matt Blackwell,
Atkinson, and Andrew Perron.
Revenge II, by Stephen Ratliff
Marrissa shows up at Stephen's
house to provide him with some editing assistance. Then after that, she'll
head off to Starbucks to pick up some latte for Riker. With Doug Atkinson.
to the Queen
of two Iridium Ram-Chips (Best of the Worst Fanfic, Best of the Worst Plot),
Another Marrissa story by a
Ratliff groupie, Rob Tounts. This one pits the Kids Crew against Marrissa,
who has been assimilated by the Borg and, predictably, has become their
new Queen. MiSTed with Doug Atkinson,
Up Your Life, by Cassie Consten
Mulder and Scully head off to
England to investigate rumors that the Spice Girls have been infected by
aliens. Alas, they never do discover who exactly abducted the Spice
It's a Very Marrissa Christmas
as Ratliff once again returns to France for more familial soap opera. The
entire story consists of small talk, wine, and a dull Catholic mass - in
other words, it's much like Christmas with most real families, and about
as exciting. Meanwhile, a minor character makes amends with her estranged
father - or doesn't, since the story ends rather abruptly at this point.
Trek: The Next Generation/X-Men: Second Contact by Dan Abnett &
It's a crossover! Kang the Conqueror
tricks the X-Men and the crew of the USS Enterprise into messing up the
timeline, and only Wesley Crusher can stop him! Yep. With Bill
Livingston , Peter Milan, Michael
K. Neylon and Eric J. Schepers .
comment from apparently the most 'annoying' man on the BBS
It's a rant about, well, no
one's really sure what it's about, but the author sure is annoyed about
and Tubbylations, by various authors
The teletubbies hook up with
the cast of Voyager and the X-Files for this fun filled crossover. Okay,
Janeway gets murdered in one story, so its not entirely fun filled, but
still... With Doug Atkinson, and Andrew Perron.
Field Trip , by Stephen Ratliff
The Kid's Crew to Be goes on
a field trip, only to have their shuttlecraft shot down by an evil alien
race. The rest of the story is just like "Home Alone" but with six times
the number of children. By Matthew
Blackwell, Dean Carrano, Bill
Livingston, Michael Neylon,
Salyers, and Michael Wallen. WARNING: This fanfic contains
an Evil darker and greater than anything H.P. Lovecraft ever conceived:
the Kids' Crew sings Disney tunes.
Beast with the Nine Bands, by James A. Wolf
The Hulk runs into a giant armadillo
in the Texas panhandle. And the 'in-joke-o-meter' flies off the charts.
With Jacob Churosh, and Rottweiller.
santa clause dead?, by "Shadow Walker"
A christmas tale where the author
describes how Santa can't possibly be real. This and more, in this week's
"Tales of the Blindingly Obvious"!
Date/ Marriage of the Millennium, by Gold Astro Ranger
In these Power Rangers stories,
the Crowmeowme Brothers go on a date and then save the world from certain
doom. But the dating's the really important part. With Michael
Issue #1, by T. Campbell
Trouble is afoot when a super
villain decides to use sci-fi fans in an attempt to take over the world.
It's a plan worthy of Paste Pot Pete.
Athena Prospects: Mango
Version, by Stephen Ratliff
In a story too big for one group
alone to riff, Marrissa heads back in time to stop an evil plan from destroying
Starfleet before it gets started. In the meantime, someone is knocking
off the Royal Family of Britain. Oh, and Chelsea Clinton is an intern.
Mango version by: Doug Atkinson , Matt
Kevin Gowen, Raf Kaplan, Bill
Livingston, Mighty Jack, John C. Mozena, Rottweiller,
Salyers, and WereTorgo. Papaya version by Matt
Blackwell, Bart Fargo, Amanda Flowers, Sarah
Heiner, Karen Kallestad, Jeffrey Ray Roberts , and
Legion-Size Meeting, by Doc Thinker
Supergirl heads off into the
future to link up with the Legion of Superheroes to stop Lex Luthor's sister
from doing... well, something. I'm still not quite sure what she's trying
to do, but heck, exactly how much Supergirl fanfic do you see these days
anyway? And it's written in one of those languages that twins use.
Could you ask for more in a fanfic?
What If The Average Person Knew This?
Currency speculation sweeps
the nation! At least that's what the people behind this e-mail want you
Everyone's favorite electric
rodent, aside from Milliamp Mouse, is revealed to actually be propagana
advocating the return of feudalism to the world.
Misery Senshi Neo-Zero Double Blitzkreig Debacle by Peter Guerin
The Technothriller genre has
many heroes. Jack Ryan. Dirk Pitt. John Clark. And of course, Sailor Moon
and MTV's Daria (no relation to TV's Frank). Yes, join Daria and
the Sailor Scouts as they fight Japanese Imperialists, right wing militiamen,
Arabic terrorists and Bevis and Butthead. Oh, and there's a death plane
involved too. It's a novel length misting with Tyler Dion, Douglas
Herhilhy, Bill Livingston,
, Harold Tessmann III, Rebo Valence,
The Ratliff Archive is so far
ahead of the curve that we are proud to present a misting of the script
to Star Wars: Episode III! And although this script seems to have been
written in 1983, I'm sure it's completely authentic. Misted with Douglas
Herlihy, Keith Palmer,
Return of the Lawndale Militia- by Peter Guerin-
Well, if you thought that Daria
dealt with all of the evil members of the Lawndale Militia back in
Salamander" you'd be mistaken. They're back, and they've got
the yakuza to help them! Thankfully, Daria has the casts of two anime series
that you've probably never heard of to help out. Oh, and there's a ghost
involved too. It's a gigantic misting by Alex
Gariepy, Bill Livingston,
Antaeus Feldspar, Matt
Blackwell, Rebo Valance and Abigail Springman.
Did you think the election
was over? Well, it is. But here's a misting making fun of it anyway.
California faces a massive
power crisis! And the rest of the nation laughs! And riffs!
Marrissa's back! And she's
annoyed at Deep Space Nine! This non-Ratliff Marrissa story features fights!
Thrills! Spills! And Odo standig around pontificating! Misted by Matt
Gariepy, Juliet Youngren, Brian Dubick,
and Douglas Gale.
Triumph of the Retart - By Peter Guerin
Daria delves into the cut
throat world of high school politics in this latest peice from Peter Guerin.
No militias this time, just hitmen, restraining orders and visits from
talented musicians. Ahem. Misted by Alex
Gariepy, Bill Livingston,
McCasland, Keith Palmer,
Rebo Valance, and Matt
Blackwell . BTW- this one's for adult's only, folks, due to mature
The Movie! - By "James Cameron"- New!
Peter Parker gains spider
powers and fights some guy you've never heard of and never well again!
And it's alledgedly the script that James Cameron was going to shoot when
he was supposed to direct the film. Yep. Uh-huh. Misted with Bill
Livingston, Daniel Haun, Brendan
Herlihy, Eric Scheppers, and Natalie Welch.
Bow- By Rick Berman and Brannon Braga- New!
Okay, there's this ship,
and it's assigned to go out and explore the depths of space. And along
the way, it encounters a bunch of exotic aliens too. And the ship's called
and... oh. You've heard this before? Misted by Matt
Blackwell, D Gale, Alex
Gariepy and Karen Kallstead
Although I can't take credit
for their excellence, I did assist in writing the following mistings:
Walls of Jellico by Stephen Ratliff
In his author's notes, Ratliff
promises to depict a more fallible Marrissa in this story. Instead, he
gives us Henry Jellico, a spineless, incompetent boob who obviously must
be evil because he hates Marrissa. Jellico orders a dangerous training
mission resulting in several off screen deaths, and Marrissa arrests him,
maintaining her record of absolute perfection. In the end, even Jellico
decides that, gosh, maybe she isn't so bad after all. Meanwhile, 14-year-old
JAG officer/toady Jay Gordon displays amazing powers of mesmerism, and
the whole thing ends at a horse race for no damn reason. MiSTed by Bill
Blackwell, and Kevin Gowen.
of the Red Eye Pentology, by Turtle Ninja
So, what have those pesky Ninja
Turtles been up to in the past few years? Well, aside from hanging with
Vanilla Ice, they seem to have been joined by a female ninja turle, who
apparently is actually an alien from another planet. Also, she has an evil
twin sister who's threatening to take over the world by using the powers
of the evil red eye. Then they, along with arch-enemy Shredder, head off
to Turtle Ninja's homeworld to fight the evil there. Oh, and the Ninja
Turtles all hook up with female turtle babes while they're on the alien
world too. It's ninja-tastic fun from Amanda Flowers and Matt
Memories , by Mission Ops Productions
One of the most infamous mistings
to ever hit the internet, this misting deals with a pre-DS9 Julian
Bashir heading off to an alien planet, where he is promptly kidnapped and
subjected to acts that aren't often discussed on DS9, but can be seen frequently
on Oz. Be warned, this is for adult audiences only. Misted by Michael
Joe Blevins, John Berry, Matt
Blackwell, Antaeus Feldspar, Bill
Livingston, Matthew Miller, John W. Nowak, Amanda
Ohlin, and Melvin Pollack.
Royal Mess, part 2 by Stephen Ratliff
This long unfinished MiSTing
was finally completed some three years after part 1. In the conclusion,
Marrissa apprehends the Romulan and Tracke co-conspirators, who were plotting
to kill the entire royal family for some damn reason that is never fully
explained. Then the Pope shows up in his souped-up 24th century Popemobile
to vaporize the bad guys into space dust. Finally, "A Royal Mess" ends
as all good Star Trek stories end -- with a lengthy coronation,
a fancy dress party in a shuttlecraft bay, and 25 billion promotions. MiSted
Jack, Matthew Blackwell,
Nebus, and Tom Salyers.
Love, by Jesse Berden
Stephen Ratliff hijacks a bus
full of misties and forces them to read a Sailor Moon story which involves
ice skating.. You know, sometimes the misting plot reads better than the
actual story does... Misted by Richard Yocum and Matt
by Roland Warner
A super terrorist OF THE FUTURE
decides to hold the free galaxy hostage with a set of virus bombs. Also,
cars are now sold in capsule form and people have Pentiums inside their
heads. Misted by Bill Livingston,
with very little help from Matt
of Time, by
The sequel to Lines-As-Q. David
continues his wacky run across the Marrissa-verse and takes a stop over
at Deep Space 9. Familiar characters (very familiar characters) guest star.
Misted by Bill Livingston,
and TV's Francis.
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