Things you have to believe to be a Republican today
I received the following list in an e-mail that was passed around on the net.
I have added a couple of items to it.
- Saddam was a good guy when Reagan armed him,
a bad guy when Bushs daddy made war on him,
a good guy when Cheney did business with him,
and a bad guy when Bush needed
a we cant find bin Laden diversion.
- Trade with Cuba is wrong because the country is communist, but trade
with China and Vietnam is vital to a spirit of international harmony.
- A woman cant be trusted with decisions about her own body,
but multi-national corporations can make decisions affecting all mankind
- Jesus loves you, and shares your hatred of homosexuals
and Hillary Clinton.
- The best way to improve military morale is to praise the troops in
speeches while slashing veterans benefits and combat pay.
- (Continuing the previous item):
Supporting the troops means giving them inadequate equipment and training,
extending their tours of duty,
and cutting medical care and other benefits for returning veterans.
- If condoms are kept out of schools, adolescents wont have sex.
- Providing health care to all Iraqis is sound policy. Providing
health care to all Americans is socialism.
- HMOs and insurance companies have the best interests of the public at
- Global warming and tobaccos link to cancer are junk science,
but creationism should be taught in schools.
- A president lying about an extramarital affair is an impeachable
offense. A president lying to enlist support for a war in which
thousands die is solid defense policy.
- Government should limit itself to the powers named in the
Constitution, which include banning gay marriages and censoring the
- The public has a right to know about Hillarys cattle trades,
but George W. Bushs cocaine conviction is none of our business.
- Being a drug addict is a moral failing and a crime,
unless youre a conservative radio host.
Then its an illness, and you need our prayers for your recovery.
- You support states rights, which means that the Attorney General
can tell states what local voter initiatives they have the
right to adopt.
- What Bill Clinton did in the 1960s is of vital national interest,
but what Bush did in the 1980s is irrelevant.
- Separation of religion and government (church and state)
is very important in Iraq
and we must be sure it is specified clearly in Iraqs Constitution.
Separation of church and state in the USA is a lie of the liberals
and is not important (or desirable) here.
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This page was last updated on May 3, 2007.