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Carolyn Goodman Plampin http://home.netcom.com/~cplampin
Series-Subjects Relevant to an Informed Opinion about Christian Women in Ministry
MUTUAL SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE
First created in January, 1996, Revised January 10, 2007
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Carolyn Goodman Plampin
Coordinator Subjects Relevant to an Informed Opinion
1220 Vienna Dr., #504
Sunnyvale, CA 94089-2007
(408) 734-5141
Master of Teaching, Universidade Federal do Paraná, Brazil, March 20, 1968
Master of Divinity, Golden Gate Baptist Theological Seminary, June 2, 1978
Missionary to Brazil of the International Mission Board of the Southern Baptist Convention, 1957-1988
Academic dean (without title) and professor, Instituto Biblico Batista, A.B. Deter and
Seminário Teológico Batista do Paraná, Curitiba, 1959-1979
Academic dean and professor, Seminário de Educacao Crista, Recife, 1980-1986
e-mail: cplampin@ix.netcom.com
CONTENTS
Interpretation of the Household Codes
- Wives Ephesians 5:18-33, Slaves Ephesians 6:5-8
- Wives Colossians 3:18-19, Slaves Colossians 3:22-25
- Wives Titus 2:5, Slaves Titus 2:9-10
- Slaves I Peter 2:18-20, Wives I Peter 3: 1-7
Submission to Husbands and Church Leadership
Women Exercised Servant Leadership Over Men in the Church Until the Fifteenth Century
THE DOMINATION OF WIVES BY HUSBANDS WAS THE RESULT OF SIN AT THE FALL AND IS STILL THE RESULT OF SIN, GENESIS 3:16
- Sarah, Genesis 16, 17, 18, 20, 21
- Rebecca, Genesis 27
- Rachel and Leah, Genesis 31
- Wife of Manoah and Mother of Samson, Judges 13
- Hannah, Wife of Elkana and Mother of Samuel, 1 Samuel 1-2
- Abigail, Wife of Nabal and then of David, 1 Samuel 25
- The Rich Woman from Shunem, 2 Kings 4
- Vashti, Ester 1
- Women's Vows, Numbers 30
SAPPHIRA, A WIFE WHO AGREED WITH HER HUSBAND AND DROPPED DEAD, Acts 5:1-11
HOUSEHOLD CODES THAT TELL WIVES TO SUBMIT THEMSELVES TO THEIR HUSBANDS ALSO TELL SLAVES TO SUBMIT THEMSELVES TO THEIR MASTERS
Interpretation of the Household Codes
-
Wives Ephesians 5:18-33, Slaves, Ephesians 6:5-8
And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, speaking to one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody with your heart to the Lord; always giving thanks for all things in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ to God, even the Father; and be subject to one another in the fear of Christ. Wives, be subject to your own husbands, as to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:18-22)
Be subject is put in italics in the New American Standard version to signify that it is an addition to the text.
Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her. (Ephesians 5:25)
Slaves, be obedient to those who are your masters according to the flesh, with fear and trembling, in the sincerity of your heart, as to Christ. (Ephesians 6:5)
This is a passage on how to be filled with the Spirit: speaking, singing and making melody, giving thanks, and be subject. Generally translators will put words in parallel in the same tense so that it would have been "being subject."
Those who did the division of the paragraphs, which are not considered by anyone as inspired, in the New American Standard also separated verses 21 and 22. That helps to emphasize the subjection of wives when they can begin a paragraph with "Wives, be subject to your own husbands."
I doubt very seriously that any translators ever considered adding to "Husbands, be subject to and love your wives." (Ephesians 5:25)
When context is taken into consideration, this is a passage that tells us how to be filled with the Spirit and one of those ways is "being subject to one another," mutual submission. Wives being subject to their husbands has been overemphasized and husbands loving their wives "just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her" has been underemphasized.
-
Wives Colossians 3:18-19, Slaves Colossians 3:22-25
Wives, be subject to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives, and do not be embittered against them. (Colossians 3:18-19)
Slaves, in all things obey those who are your masters on earth, not with external service, as those who merely please men, but with sincerity of heart, fearing the Lord. (Colossians 3:22)
We have heard "Wives, be subject to your husbands" so many times that it is not shocking to us, but it should be shocking that husbands should be admonished to love their wives and not be embittered against them.
However, that was good advice in cultures around the Mediterranean where it was considered below the dignity of men to love their wives because they were not worthy equals, they could only love other men, which included having sexual relations with men and boys.
-
Wives Titus 2:3-5, Slaves Titus 2:9-10
Older women (presbútidas) ... teaching what is good, that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be dishonored. (Titus 2:3-5)
Urge bondslaves to be subject to their own masters in everything, to be well-pleasing, not argumentative, not pilfering, but showing all good faith that they may adorn the doctrine of God our Savior in every respect. (Titus 2:9-10)
This is Paul's advice to Titus on Crete as to how to teach men and women pastors (elders). Women pastors (elders, presbútidas) are to be taught so that they can train the younger women to: "love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no-one will malign the word of God."
I Timothy 5:1-25 is also Paul's advice to Timothy in Ephesus as to how to teach men pastors (elders) and women pastors (elders, presbutéras) called widows.
-
Slaves I Peter 2:18-20, Wives I Peter 3:1-7
Servants, be submissive to your masters with all respect, not only to those who are good and gentle, but also to those who are unreasonable. For this finds favor, if for the sake of conscience toward God a man bears up under sorrows when suffering unjustly. For what credit is there if, when you sin and are harshly treated, you endure it with patience? But if, when you do what is right and suffer for it you patiently endure it, this finds favor with God. (I Peter 2:18-20)
In the same way, you wives, be submissive to your own husbands so that even if any of them are disobedient to the word, they may be won without a word by the behavior of their wives, as they observe your chaste and respectful behavior. ... Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear. (I Peter 3:1-6)
You husbands likewise, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and grant her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered. (I Peter 3:7)
This is a passage on how Christian women may win their unbelieving husbands. Although it is only said here that Sarah obeyed Abraham, it is also said in the Old Testament "But God said to Abraham, "Do not be distressed because of the lad and your maid: whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her, for through Isaac your descendants shall be named." (Genesis 21:12) To listen to or hear was also translated as obey.
In Peter's advice to husbands he calls women a weaker vessel, since she is a woman, which I assume to refer to women as weaker physically than some men, depending on the age and physical condition of each, of course. Later in church history the frailty of women referred to their supposed weaker resistance to sexual temptation. Peter teaches that husbands should give honor to their wives, as fellow heirs of the grace of life, and gives his reason that thereby doing the prayers of the husband may not be hindered.
We have baptized pagan and Jewish marriage customs and laws and called them Christian because the Apostle Paul gave advice to married women as to how to live as Christians under them. In no other area do we assume that the prevailing pagan and Jewish customs and laws reflected a pattern taught by Christ.
In our effort to encourage Christian family values, we need to develop a statement of family values really based on principles taught by Christ.
The Position of the Wife in the Family
And some Pharisees came to Him, testing Him, and saying, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any cause at all?" ... (Jesus said) "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery." The disciples said to Him, "If the relationship of the man with his wife is like this, it is better not to marry." (Matt. 19:3, 9-10)
In Jewish law until today only the husband has the legal right to divorce his wife.
"Thousands of Jewish women in failed marriages remain in a state of legal bondage to husbands -- even estranged husbands -- who refuse to grant them a Jewish divorce, without which they cannot remarry."
(Grossman, Naomi, "Women Unbound, Breaking the Chains of Jewish Divorce Law," LILITH, Vol. 18, No. 3, Summer 1993, pp. 8-12)
In early Greek law the wife was under the life and death rule of her husband. Fortunately, later this was changed.
The Roman wife was a member of her father's family and not a member of the family of her husband and children.
In British law of the 1500s and on into the 1900s the mother was not legally related to her children.
During the reign of King Edward VI (1547-1553), British civil and ecclesiastical courts combined in the assertion that the son of the Duchess of Suffolk was no kin to his mother. In other ways the same point is made clear. A British woman is not a "parent" of her own child, within the meaning of the law at the present time. (Bushnell, GOD'S WORD TO WOMEN, paragraph 490. This was first published in 1921.)
Submission to Husbands and Church Leadership
The early church could not solve the problem of the pagan and Jewish marriage customs and laws which were so demeaning for the married woman. The early church understood the "household codes" to pertain to married women. Widows and virgins were vowed to celibacy, highly honored as church leaders, and understood to be free to be obedient to God.
All women who served the church as women pastors (elders) called widows, deaconesses, and virgins had to be never married or widows. These women were breaking Roman law, which required them to be married. Later Roman law was changed.
Three questions need serious reappraisal today:
- The relationship of men and women in marriage.
A new theology of marriage based on Christian principles needs to be worked out.
- The meaning of servanthood.
I have never know a servant who had authority over their master, or an employee who had authority over their employer. When we say that a husband should show "servant leadership" it should really mean what it says.
- The concept of power.
Tony campolo in THE POWER DELUSION makes a serious call to consider Jesus' approach to power.Rosemary Agonito in HISTORY OF IDEAS ON WOMAN will help you to see that decision making in the family is still based on a concept of power worked out before democratic ideas became accepted.
Women Exercised Servant Leadership Over Men in the Church Until the Fifteenth Century
The priests and monks together with the nuns took vows of obedience to the abbess in imitation of the obedience of Jesus to his mother, while the abbess in imitation of Mary served the community devotedly in an administrative capacity. (p. 45)The fundamental spirituality of the order was based on the words of Our Lord on the Cross when he said to Mary: "Mother, here is your son" and to John "Son, here is your mother." Robert of Abrissel explained the text as meaning that when John took Mary as his own mother it was to serve her with the spirit of obedience of a son. (p. 47)
It was only after the twelfth century when there was a slow return to Greco-Roman culture reaching its zenith during the Renaissance that the services rendered by abbesses was looked upon as wrong. ... The dislike of women having any right to rule shows that the whole idea of what it means to rule had become re paganized. Administration was no longer considered a service but a right of dominion, a right to laud it over another, which was the pagan idea of government and not the Christian one of humble service. ... It was not until the fifteenth and sixteenth centuries onward that the vow gave rise to indignation on the grounds that it was wrong for a man to make a vow of obedience to a woman." (pp. 56-57)
Morris, THE LADY WAS A BISHOP.
Borrensen explains the influence of Augustine (A.D. 354-430)) and Thomas Aquinas (A.D. 1225-1274).
Within the Church the discussion is to a great extent influenced by the ideas of Augustine and Thomas Aquinas on the nature and role of woman. Two schools of thought hold the field: one appeals to their writings to support traditional views; the other tries to free itself from the teaching of these Fathers, who wield more authority in the West than all others. Their teaching continues to exercise influence on questions of conjugal morality and celibacy, and particularly on the purpose the value of the latter. The possibility of marriage for secular priests, the ordination of women to the priesthood are among the problems that have recently come to the fore, and usually they are solved by referring to a tradition of which Augustine and Thomas are the most important mouthpieces. p. XV.Any renewal of the theology of marriage, for example, will have to depend on a deliverance from this traditional doctrine. A systematic presentation of the ideas of Augustine and Thomas on the nature and role of woman is in itself a critique of them, because the reader can see in such an account the extent to which this teaching is based on sociological and scientific theories that no longer have any validity for the present day. pp. xvii-xviii.
Borresen, SUBORDINATION AND EQUIVALENCE.
Bibliography on Household Codes
Agonito, Rosemary, HISTORY OF IDEAS ON WOMAN, A SOURCE BOOK. New York: A Perigee Book, 1977.
Balch, David L. LET WIVES BE SUBMISSIVE, THE DOMESTIC CODE IN I PETER. Chico, CA: Scholar's Press, 1981.
Bushnell, Katherine C. GOD'S WORD TO WOMEN, ONE HUNDRED BIBLE STUDIES ON WOMAN'S PLACE IN THE DIVINE ECONOMY. First published in 1912. Order from: Ray B. Munson, 11899 Gowanda Rd., North Collins, NY 14111, or from God's Word to Women Publishers http://www.godswordtowomen.org, or from Christians for Biblical Equality, http://www.cbeinternational.org/, 122 West Franklin Ave, Suite 218, Minneapolis, MN 55404-2451, phone: 612-872-6898, e-mail: cbe@minn.net.
Campolo, Jr., Anthony. THE POWER DELUSION, A SERIOUS CALL TO CONSIDER JESUS' APPROACH TO POWER. Wheaton: IL: Victor Books, 1986.
Gundry, Patricia. HEIRS TOGETHER. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1980.
Grossman, Naomi, "Women Unbound, Breaking the Chains of Jewish Divorce Law," LILITH, Vol. 18, No. 3, Summer 1993.
Morris, Joan. THE LADY WAS A BISHOP, THE HIDDEN HISTORY OF WOMEN WITH CLERICAL ORDINATION AND THE JURISDICTION OF BISHOPS. New York: The Macmillan Company, 1973.
TRANSFORMATION, Vol. 5, No. 3, July/September 1988. Issue on Christian marriage. A debate between Larry and Nordis Christenson and Berkeley and Alvera Mickelsen.
- pp. 2-5 - Christenson, Larry and Nordis. "The Biblical Understanding of the Husband-Wife Relationship."
- pp. 6-11 - Mickelsen, Berkeley and Alvera. "What is Christian Marriage?"
- pp. 12-13 - Mickelsen, Berkeley and Alvera."A Response to the Christensons."
- pp. 13-14 - Christenson, Larry and Nordis. "A Response to the Mickelsens."
Spencer, Aida Besançon. "From Poet to Judge: What Does Ephesians 5 Teach About Male-Female Roles?" PRISCILLA PAPERS, Vol. 4, No. 3, Summer 1990, pp. 10-16.
WITH A SERVANT HEART, PERSPECTIVES ON WOMEN IN LEADERSHIP. Birmingham: Woman's Missionary Union, SBC, 1992.
The DOMINATION OF WIVES BY HUSBANDS WAS THE RESULT OF SIN AT THE FALL AND IS STILL THE RESULT OF SIN, GENESIS 3:16
Egalitarians point to Genesis 3:16 as the relationship of husband and wife after sin entered the world.
After the fall God said to the woman "Your desire (turning) will be for your husband, and he will rule over you." Genesis 3:16 (See Bushnell for an explanation of when "desire" entered into the English language translation of the Bible and a chart showing that "turning" had historically been the meaning of this word. It makes the verse say that because Eve turned from God to her husband that her husband would rule over her.)
Hierarchalists use the creation account in Genesis 2 and claim that because God's plan was to make a "helper" for Adam (vs. 18) and Eve was created second (vs. 22) that this means that she was created under subjection. They wisely saw that they would have to antedate Genesis 3:16 or they would have to admit that wives only came under the rule of husbands at the fall.
One of the results of redemption is the restoring of the good creation.
The justification of the domination of wives by husbands is a cover-up for sin. The solution to sin is repentance.
We urgently need a new theology worked out by men and women in dialogue, as God said: "It is not good for the man to be alone" (Gen. 2:18) and he has been alone in doing theology for two thousand years.
Unsubmissive Wives in the Old Testament
Genesis 16:1-6 - Now Sarai, Abram's wife, had borne him no children. But she had an Egyptian servant named Hagar; so she said to Abram, "The Lord has kept me from having children. Go, sleep with my servant; perhaps I can build a family through her. Abram agreed to what Sarai said. So after Abram had been living in Canaan ten years, Sarai his wife took her Egyptian servant Hagar and gave her to her husband to be his wife. He slept with Hagar, and she conceived. When she knew she was pregnant, she began to despise her mistress. Then Sarai said to Abram, "You are responsible for the wrong I am suffering. I put my servant in your arms, and now that she knows she is pregnant, she despises me. May be Lord judge between you and me." "Your servant is in your hands," Abram said, "Do with her whatever you think best." Then Sarai ill-treated Hagar; so she fled from her.Genesis 17:15-19 - God also said to Abraham, "As for Sarai your wife, you are no longer to call her Sarai; her name will be Sarah. I will bless her and will surely give you a son by her. I will bless her so that she will be the mother of nations; kings of peoples will come from her. Abraham fell face down; he laughed and said to himself, "Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety? And Abraham said to God, "If only Ismael might live under your blessing! Then God said, "Yes, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac.
Genesis 18:9-15 - Vs. 15 - Sarah denied it however, saying: "I did not laugh"; for she was afraid. And He said, "No, but you did laugh." (This is the verse that Jews used to say that all women are liars and cannot be witnesses and Christians have gladly followed suit.)
Of course, they didn't mention that Abraham told Sarah to lie, but all men are not called liars because of Abraham.
Genesis 20:ll-13 - And Abraham said, "Because I thought surely there is no fear of God in this place; and they will kill me because of my wife. Besides, she actually is my sister, the daughter of my father, but not the daughter of my mother, and she became my wife; and it came about, when God caused me to wander from my father's house, that I said to her, 'This is the kindness which you will show to me everywhere we go, say of me, "He is my brother."Genesis 21:12 - But God said to Abraham, "Do not be distressed because of the lad and your maid; whatever Sarah tells you, listen to her, for through Isaac your descendants shall be named. (NASB)
Remember from above that listen or hear is also translated as obey.
Bibliography on Sarah
Teubal, Savina J. SARAH THE PRIESTESS, THE FIRST MATRIARCH OF GENESIS. (Athens, OH: Swallow Press, 1984)
Genesis 27:8 - Now therefore, my son, listen to me (Rebeka) as I command you.Genesis 27:13 - But his mother (Rebeka) said to him (Jacob), "Your curse be on me, my son; only obey my voice, and go, get {them} for me." (NASB)
Genesis 27:42 - Now when the words of her elder son Esau were reported to Rebekah, she sent and called her younger son Jacob, and said to him, "Behold your brother Esau is consoling himself concerning you, {by planning} to kill you. (NASB)
Genesis 27:43 - "Now therefore, my son, obey my voice, and arise, flee to Haran, to my brother Laban! (NASB)
Genesis 31:14 - And Rachel and Leah answered and said to him, "Do we still have any portion or inheritance in our father's house? (NASB)Genesis 31:15 - "Are we not reckoned by him as foreigners? For he has sold us, and has also entirely consumed our purchase price. (NASB)
Genesis 31:16 - "Surely all the wealth which God has taken away from our father belongs to us and our children; now then, do whatever God has said to you."(NASB)
Genesis 31:19 - "When Laban had gone to shear his flock, then Rachel stole the household idols that were her father's."
Genesis 31:34-35 - Now Rachel had taken the household idols and put them in the camel's saddle, and she sat on them. And Laban felt through all the tent, but did not find {them}. And she said to her father, "Let not my lord be angry that I cannot rise before you, for the manner of women is upon me." So he searched, but did not find the household idols.(NASB)
"The inheritance demanded by Rachel and Leah and the teraphim taken by Rachel would have been that which descended through the female line and which belonged to their mother; it should belong to themselves and their children rather than Laban.
Oopong, C. MARRIAGE AMONG THE MATRILINEAL ELITE. Cambridge Studies in Social Anthropology 8 (London: Cambridge University Press, 1974, p. 42, as cited in Teubal, Savina J. SARAH THE PRIESTESS, THE FIRST MATRIARCH OF GENESIS (Athens, OH: Swallow Press, 1984), pp. 171-172.
Judges 13:2 - And there was a certain man of Zorah, of the family of the Danites, whose name was Manoah; and his wife was barren and had borne no {children.} (NASB)Manoah offered a burnt offering and the angel of the Lord ascended in the flame of the altar.Judges 13:3 - Then the angel of the \Lord\ appeared to the woman, and said to her, "Behold now, you are barren and have borne no {children,} but you shall conceive and give birth to a son. (NASB)
Judges 13:4 - "Now therefore, be careful not to drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing. (NASB)
Judges 13:5 - "For behold, you shall conceive and give birth to a son, and no razor shall come upon his head, for the boy shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb; and he shall begin to deliver Israel from the hands of the Philistines." (NASB)
Judges 13:6 - Then the woman came and told her husband, saying, "A man of God came to me and his appearance was like the appearance of the angel of God, very awesome. And I did not ask him where he {came} from, nor did he tell me his name. (NASB)
Judges 13:7 - "But he said to me, 'Behold, you shall conceive and give birth to a son, and now you shall not drink wine or strong drink nor eat any unclean thing, for the boy shall be a Nazirite to God from the womb to the day of his death.'" (NASB)
Judges 13:8 - Then Manoah entreated the \Lord\ and said, "O Lord, please let the man of God whom Thou hast sent come to us again that he may teach us what to do for the boy who is to be born." (NASB)
Judges 13:9 - And God listened to the voice of Manoah; and the angel of God came again to the woman as she was sitting in the field, but Manoah her husband was not with her. (NASB)
Judges 13:10 - So the woman ran quickly and told her husband, "Behold, the man who came the {other} day has appeared to me." (NASB)
Judges 13:11 - Then Manoah arose and followed his wife, and when he came to the man he said to him, "Are you the man who spoke to the woman?" And he said, "I am." (NASB)
Judges 13:12 - And Manoah said, "Now when your words come {to pass,} what shall be the boy's mode of life and his vocation?" (NASB)
Judges 13:13 - So the angel of the \Lord\ said to Manoah, "Let the woman pay attention to all that I said. (NASB)
Judges 13:14 - "She should not eat anything that comes from the vine nor drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing; let her observe all that I commanded." (NASB)
Judges 13:22 - So Manoah said to his wife, "We shall surely die, for we have seen God." (NASB)Judges 13:23 - But his wife said to him, "If the \Lord\ had desired to kill us, He would not have accepted a burnt offering and a grain offering from our hands, nor would He have shown us all these things, nor would He have let us hear {things} like this at this time." (NASB)
Judges 13:24 - Then the woman gave birth to a son and named him Samson; and the child grew up and the \Lord\ blessed him. (NASB)
Isaiah 1:9 - Then Hannah rose after eating and drinking in shiloh. Now Eli the priest was sitting on the seat by the doorpost of the temple of the \Lord.\Hannah's PrayerIsaiah 1:10 - And she, greatly distressed, prayed to the \Lord\ and wept bitterly. (NASB)
Isaiah 1:11 - And she made a vow and said, "O \Lord\ of hosts, if Thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of Thy maidservant and remember me, and not forget Thy maidservant, but wilt give Thy maidservant a son, then I will give him to the \Lord\ all the days of his life, and a razor shall never come on his head." (NASB)
Isaiah 1:20 - And it came about in due time, after Hannah had conceived, that she gave birth to a son; and she named him Samuel, {saying,} "Because I have asked him of the \Lord.\" (NASB)
Isaiah 1:21 - Then the man Elkanah went up with all his household to offer to the \Lord\ the yearly sacrifice and {pay} his vow. (NASB)
Isaiah 1:22 - But Hannah did not go up, for she said to her husband, "{I will not go up} until the child is weaned; then I will bring him, that he may appear before the \Lord\ and stay there forever." (NASB)
Isaiah 1:23 - And Elkanah her husband said to her, "Do what seems best to you. Remain until you have weaned him; only may the \Lord\ confirm His word." So the woman remained and nursed her son until she weaned him. (NASB)
Isaiah 1:24 - Now when she had weaned him, she took him up with her, with a three-year-old bull and one ephah of flour and a jug of wine, and brought him to the house of the \Lord\ in Shiloh, although the child was young. (NASB)
Isaiah 1:25 - Then they slaughtered the bull, and brought the boy to Eli. (NASB)
Isaiah 1:26 - And she said, "Oh, my lord! As your soul lives, my lord, I am the woman who stood here beside you, praying to the \Lord.\ (NASB)
Isaiah 1:27 - "For this boy I prayed, and the \Lord\ has given me my petition which I asked of Him. (NASB)
Isaiah 1:28 - "So I have also dedicated him to the \Lord\; as long as he lives he is dedicated to the \Lord.\" And he worshiped the \Lord\ there. (NASB)
Isaiah 2:1 - Then Hannah prayed and said, #"My heart exults in the \Lord\; My horn is exalted in the \Lord\, My mouth speaks boldly against my enemies, Because I rejoice in Thy salvation. (NASB)Isaiah 2:2 - "There is no one holy like the \Lord\, Indeed, there is no one besides Thee, Nor is there any rock like our God. (NASB)
Isaiah 2:3 - "Boast no more so very proudly, Do not let arrogance come out of your mouth; For the \Lord\ is a God of knowledge, And with Him actions are weighed. (NASB)
Isaiah 2:4 - "The bows of the mighty are shattered, But the feeble gird on strength. (NASB)
Isaiah 2:5 - "Those who were full hire themselves out for bread, But those who were hungry cease {to hunger.} Even the barren gives birth to seven, But she who has many children languishes. (NASB)
Isaiah 2:6 - "The \Lord\ kills and makes alive; He brings down to Sheol and raises up. (NASB)
Isaiah 2:7 - "The \Lord\ makes poor and rich; He brings low, He also exalts. (NASB)
Isaiah 2:8 - "He raises the poor from the dust, He lifts the needy from the ash heap To make them sit with nobles, And inherit a seat of honor; For the pillars of the earth are the \Lord's\, And He set the world on them. (NASB) Isaiah 2:9 - "He keeps the feet of His godly ones, But the wicked ones are silenced in darkness; For not by might shall a man prevail. (NASB)
Isaiah 2:10 - "Those who contend with the \Lord\ will be shattered; Against them He will thunder in the heavens, The \Lord\ will judge the ends of the earth; And He will give strength to His king, And will exalt the horn of His anointed." (NASB)
Isaiah 25:2 - Now {there was} a man in Maon whose business was in Carmel; and the man was very rich, and he had three thousand sheep and a thousand goats. And it came about while he was shearing his sheep in Carmel (NASB)
Isaiah 25:3 - (now the man's name was Nabal, and his wife's name was Abigail. And the woman was intelligent and beautiful in appearance, but the man was harsh and evil in {his} dealings, and he was a Calebite), (NASB)
Isaiah 25:14 - But one of the young men told Abigail, Nabal's wife, saying, "Behold, David sent messengers from the wilderness to greet our master, and he scorned them. (NASB)
Isaiah 25:17 - "Now therefore, know and consider what you should do, for evil is plotted against our master and against all his household; and he is such a worthless man that no one can speak to him." (NASB)
Isaiah 25:18 - Then Abigail hurried and took two hundred {loaves} of bread and two jugs of wine and five sheep already prepared and five measures of roasted grain and a hundred clusters of raisins and two hundred cakes of figs, and loaded {them} on donkeys. (NASB)
Isaiah 25:19 - And she said to her young men, "Go on before me; behold, I am coming after you." But she did not tell her husband Nabal. (NASB)
Isaiah 25:24 - And she fell at his feet (David's) and said, "On me alone, my lord, be the blame. And please let your maidservant speak to you, and listen to the words of your maidservant. (NASB)
Isaiah 25:25 - "Please do not let my lord pay attention to this worthless man, Nabal, for as his name is, so is he. Nabal is his name and folly is with him; but I your maidservant did not see the young men of my lord whom you sent. (NASB)
Isaiah 25:32 - Then David said to Abigail, "Blessed be the \Lord\ God of Israel, who sent you this day to meet me, (NASB) Isaiah 25:33 and blessed be your discernment, and blessed be you, who have kept me this day from bloodshed, and from avenging myself by my own hand. (NASB)
Isaiah 25:34 - "Nevertheless, as the \Lord\ God of Israel lives, who has restrained me from harming you, unless you had come quickly to meet me, surely there would not have been left to Nabal until the morning light {as much as} one male." (NASB)
Isaiah 25:35 - So David received from her hand what she had brought him, and he said to her, "Go up to your house in peace. See, I have listened to you and granted your request." (NASB)
Isaiah 25:36 - Then Abigail came to Nabal, and behold, he was holding a feast in his house, like the feast of a king. And Nabal's heart was merry within him, for he was very drunk; so she did not tell him anything at all until the morning light. (NASB)
Isaiah 25:37 - But it came about in the morning, when the wine had gone out of Nabal, that his wife told him these things, and his heart died within him so that he became {as} a stone. (NASB)
Isaiah 25:38 - And about ten days later, it happened that the \Lord\ struck Nabal, and he died. (NASB)
Isaiah 25:39 - When David heard that Nabal was dead, he said, "Blessed be the \Lord\, who has pleaded the cause of my reproach from the hand of Nabal, and has kept back His servant from evil. The \Lord\ has also returned the evil doing of Nabal on his own head." Then David sent a proposal to Abigail, to take her as his wife. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:8 - Now there came a day when Elisha passed over to Shunem, where there was a prominent woman, and she persuaded him to eat food. And so it was, as often as he passed by, he turned in there to eat food. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:9 - And she said to her husband, "Behold now, I perceive that this is a holy man of God passing by us continually. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:10 - "Please, let us make a little walled upper chamber and let us set a bed for him there, and a table and a chair and a lampstand; and it shall be, when he comes to us, {that} he can turn in there." (NASB)
2 Kings 4:11 - One day he came there and turned in to the upper chamber and rested. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:12 - Then he said to Gehazi his servant, "Call this Shunammite." And when he had called her, she stood before him. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:13 - And he said to him, "Say now to her, 'Behold, you have been careful for us with all this care; what can I do for you? Would you be spoken for to the king or to the captain of the army?'" And she answered, "I live among my own people." (NASB)
2 Kings 4:14 - So he said, "What then is to be done for her?" And Gehazi answered, "Truly she has no son and her husband is old." (NASB)
2 Kings 4:15 - And he said, "Call her." When he had called her, she stood in the doorway. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:16 - Then he said, "At this season next year you shall embrace a son." And she said, "No, my lord, O man of God, do not lie to your maidservant." (NASB)
2 Kings 4:17 - And the woman conceived and bore a son at that season the next year, as Elisha had said to her. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:18 - When the child was grown, the day came that he went out to his father to the reapers. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:19 - And he said to his father, "My head, my head." And he said to his servant, "Carry him to his mother." (NASB)
2 Kings 4:20 - When he had taken him and brought him to his mother, he sat on her lap until noon, and {then} died. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:21 - And she went up and laid him on the bed of the man of God, and shut {the door} behind him, and went out. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:22 - Then she called to her husband and said, "Please send me one of the servants and one of the donkeys, that I may run to the man of God and return." (NASB)
2 Kings 4:23 - And he said, "Why will you go to him today? It is neither new moon nor sabbath." And she said, "{It will be} well." (NASB)
2 Kings 4:24 - Then she saddled a donkey and said to her servant, "Drive and go forward; do not slow down the pace for me unless I tell you." (NASB)
2 Kings 4:25 - So she went and came to the man of God to Mount Carmel. And it came about when the man of God saw her at a distance, that he said to Gehazi his servant, "Behold, yonder is the Shunammite. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:26 - "Please run now to meet her and say to her, 'Is it well with you? Is it well with your husband? Is it well with the child?'" And she answered, "It is well." (NASB)
2 Kings 4:27 - When she came to the man of God to the hill, she caught hold of his feet. And Gehazi came near to push her away; but the man of God said, "Let her alone, for her soul is troubled within her; and the \Lord\ has hidden it from me and has not told me." (NASB)
2 Kings 4:28 - Then she said, "Did I ask for a son from my lord? Did I not say, 'Do not deceive me'?" (NASB)
2 Kings 4:29 - Then he said to Gehazi, "Gird up your loins and take my staff in your hand, and go your way; if you meet any man, do not salute him, and if anyone salutes you, do not answer him; and lay my staff on the lad's face." (NASB)
2 Kings 4:30 - And the mother of the lad said, "As the \Lord\ lives and as you yourself live, I will not leave you." And he arose and followed her. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:32 - When Elisha came into the house, behold the lad was dead and laid on his bed. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:35 - Then he returned and walked in the house once back and forth, and went up and stretched himself on him; and the lad sneezed seven times and the lad opened his eyes. (NASB)
2 Kings 4:36 - And he called Gehazi and said, "Call this Shunammite." So he called her. And when she came in to him, he said, "Take up your son." (NASB)
2 Kings 4:37 - Then she went in and fell at his feet and bowed herself to the ground, and she took up her son and went out. (NASB)
Ester 1:1 - Now it took place in the days of Ahasuerus, the Ahasuerus who reigned from India to Ethiopia over 127 provinces, (NASB)
Ester 1:2 - in those days as King Ahasuerus sat on his royal throne which {was} in Susa the capital, (NASB)
Ester 1:3 - in the third year of his reign, he gave a banquet for all his princes and attendants, the army {officers} of Persia and Media, the nobles, and the princes of his provinces being in his presence. (NASB)
Ester 1:4 - And he displayed the riches of his royal glory and the splendor of his great majesty for many days, 180 days. (NASB)
Ester 1:5 - And when these days were completed, the king gave a banquet lasting seven days for all the people who were present in Susa the capital, from the greatest to the least, in the court of the garden of the king's palace. (NASB)
Ester 1:9 - Queen Vashti also gave a banquet for the women in the palace which belonged to King Ahasuerus. (NASB)
Ester 1:10 - On the seventh day, when the heart of the king was merry with wine, he commanded Mehuman, Biztha, Harbona, Bigtha, Abagtha, Zethar, and Carkas, the seven eunuchs who served in the presence of King Ahasuerus, (NASB)
Ester 1:11 - to bring Queen Vashti before the king with {her} royal crown in order to display her beauty to the people and the princes, for she was beautiful. (NASB)
Ester 1:12 - But Queen Vashti refused to come at the king's command delivered by the eunuchs. Then the king became very angry and his wrath burned within him. (NASB)
Ester 1:13 - Then the king said to the wise men who understood the times-- for it was the custom of the king so {to speak} before all who knew law and justice, (NASB)
Ester 1:14 - and were close to him: Carshena, Shethar, Admatha, Tarshish, Meres, Marsena, and Memucan, the seven princes of Persia and Media who had access to the king's presence and sat in the first place in the kingdom-- (NASB)
Ester 1:15 - "According to law, what is to be done with Queen Vashti, because she did not obey the command of King Ahasuerus {delivered} by the eunuchs?" (NASB)
Ester 1:16 - And in the presence of the king and the princes, Memucan said, "Queen Vashti has wronged not only the king but {also} all the princes, and all the peoples who are in all the provinces of King Ahasuerus. (NASB)
Ester 1:17 - "For the queen's conduct will become known to all the women causing them to look with contempt on their husbands by saying, 'King Ahasuerus commanded Queen Vashti to be brought in to his presence, but she did not come.' (NASB)
Ester 1:18 - "And this day the ladies of Persia and Media who have heard of the queen's conduct will speak in {the same way} to all the king's princes, and there will be plenty of contempt and anger. (NASB)
Ester 1:19 - "If it pleases the king, let a royal edict be issued by him and let it be written in the laws of Persia and Media so that it cannot be repealed, that Vashti should come no more into the presence of King Ahasuerus, and let the king give her royal position to another who is more worthy than she. (NASB)
Ester 1:20 - "And when the king's edict which he shall make is heard throughout all his kingdom, great as it is, then all women will give honor to their husbands, great and small." (NASB)
Ester 1:21 - And {this} word pleased the king and the princes, and the king did as Memucan proposed. (NASB)
Ester 1:22 - So he sent letters to all the king's provinces, to each province according to its script and to every people according to their language, that every man should be the master in his own house and the one who speaks in the language of his own people. (NASB)
Unmarried or married women did not have to ask permission to make vows, nor were they required to tell their fathers or husbands. The father or husband's right to forbid her was restricted to the day he hears about it. Widows or divorced women were responsible for their own vows.
- Unmarried Women, Numbers 30:3-8
Numbers 30:3 - "Also if a woman makes a vow to the \Lord,\ and binds herself by an obligation in her father's house in her youth, (NASB)
Numbers 30:4 - and her father hears her vow and her obligation by which she has bound herself, and her father says nothing to her, then all her vows shall stand, and every obligation by which she has bound herself shall stand. (NASB)
Numbers 30:5 - "But if her father should forbid her on the day he hears {of it,} none of her vows or her obligations by which she has bound herself shall stand; and the \Lord\ will forgive her because her father had forbidden her. (NASB)
Numbers 30:6 - "However, if she should marry while under her vows or the rash statement of her lips by which she has bound herself, (NASB)
Numbers 30:7 - and her husband hears of it and says nothing to her on the day he hears {it,} then her vows shall stand and her obligations by which she has bound herself shall stand. (NASB)
Numbers 30:8 - "But if on the day her husband hears {of it,} he forbids her, then he shall annul her vow which she is under and the rash statement of her lips by which she has bound herself; and the \Lord\ will forgive her. (NASB)
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Widows or Divorced Women, Numbers 30:9
Numbers 30:9 - "But the vow of a widow or of a divorced woman, everything by which she has bound herself, shall stand against her. (NASB)
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Married Women, Numbers 30:10-15
Numbers 30:10 - "However, if she vowed in her husband's house, or bound herself by an obligation with an oath, (NASB)
Numbers 30:11 - and her husband heard {it,} but said nothing to her {and} did not forbid her, then all her vows shall stand, and every obligation by which she bound herself shall stand. (NASB)
Numbers 30:12 - "But if her husband indeed annuls them on the day he hears {them,} then whatever proceeds out of her lips concerning her vows or concerning the obligation of herself, shall not stand; her husband has annulled them, and the \Lord\ will forgive her. (NASB)
Numbers 30:13 - "Every vow and every binding oath to humble herself, her husband may confirm it or her husband may annul it. (NASB)
Numbers 30:14 - "But if her husband indeed says nothing to her from day to day, then he confirms all her vows or all her obligations which are on her; he has confirmed them, because he said nothing to her on the day he heard them. (NASB)
Numbers 30:15 - "But if he indeed annuls them after he has heard them, then he shall bear her guilt." (NASB)
SAPPHIRA, A WIFE WHO AGREED WITH HER HUSBAND AND DROPPED DEAD, Acts 5:1-11
(1) "But a certain man named Ananias, with his wife Sapphira, sold a piece of property, (2) and kept back some of the price for himself, with his wife's full knowledge, and bringing a portion of it, he laid it at the apostle's feet." ... (7) Now there elapsed an interval of about three hours, and his wife came in, not knowing what had happened. (8) And Peter responded to her, "Tell me whether you sold the land for such and such a price?" And she said, "Yes, that was the price." (9) Then Peter said to her, "Why is it that you have agreed together to put the Spirit of the Lord to the test? Behold, the feet of those who have buried your husband are at the door, and they shall carry you out as well." (10) And she fell immediately at his feet, and breathed her last; and the young men came in and found her dead, and they carried her out and buried her beside her husband. (whole passage Acts 5:1-11)
Saffira may have been counting on the Law (the Law is only the first five books of the Old Testament) of vows for married women, in which if her husbands annuls her vow on the day he hears it, the Lord will forgive her.
Numbers 30:12 - "But if her husband indeed annuls them on the day he hears {them,} then whatever proceeds out of her lips concerning her vows or concerning the obligation of herself, shall not stand; her husband has annulled them, and the \Lord\ will forgive her. (NASB)
Numbers 30:15 - "But if he indeed annuls them after he has heard them, then he shall bear her guilt." (NASB)
But, even though they agreed on holding back a part of the price of the property they sold, Saffira also dropped dead. This is a solemn reminder to married women that you have to be obedient directly to God. You cannot just stand by and confirm your husband in something wrong.
This puts just as much of an ethical responsibility on the wife as it does on the husband. She must know and do the right thing. She cannot stand by and say its his doings and I don't have anything to do with it.
However, some women today living under the grace and liberty of Jesus Christ express firmly held convictions that to me sound very close to those probably held by Saffira who lived under the Jewish Law.
In June, 1998, in the immediate aftermath of the approval by the Southern Baptist Convention of the statement on the family that was added to the "Baptist Faith and Message" Mary Mohler and Dorothy Patterson, the two women on the committee, were interviewed.
"I think the Lord knew us very well because he created us," Patterson said. "He gave us a plan that wasn't dependent on perfect circumstances or perfect people. What he did do was just say to us, 'Do it.' And so, as a woman standing under the authority of Scripture, even when it comes to submitting to my husband when I know he's wrong, I just have to do it and then he stands accountable at the judgment." (Baptist Press Archive for June 10, http://www.ReligionToday.com/, downloaded 06/18/98.)
However, we should remember:
So then, we will all give an account of ourselves to God. (Romans 14:12 NIV Inclusive Language)For there is one God, and one mediator between God and human beings (anthropos=humans), Christ Jesus, himself human (anthropos=human). (1 Timothy 2:5 NIV Inclusive Language)
Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be ... Jesus replied, "You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven. (Matthew 22:28-30, Mark 12: 23-25, Luke 20:33-36 NIV Inclusive Language)
When I was a young missionary wife, a woman was converted in our church. She soon quit coming to church. I met her downtown in Curitiba, Brazil, and she told me that her husband didn't want her to leave him alone and go to church on Sundays. Then she said that a wife should be submissive to her husband. I had nothing to say, for I had been taught that also.
Upon greater maturity in the Word I learned to respond to married women in similar circumstances quoting this passage:
And one of them, a lawyer, asked Him a question, testing Him. "Teacher, which is the great commandment in the Law?" And He said to him, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind. This is the great and foremost commandment. The second is like it, You shall love your neighbor as yourself." On these two commandments depend the whole Law and the Prophets." (NASB) (Matthew 22:36-40)
Then I said, if you will put your relationship right with God, you will be able to put your relationship right with your husband, but if you try it the other way around you will never get it right.
PASSAGES IN THE NEW TESTAMENT TEACHING MUTUAL SUBMISSION
- I Cor. 7:4-5 - "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does."
- I Cor. 11:11-12 - "However, in the Lord, neither is woman independent of man, nor is man independent of woman. For as the woman originates from the man, so also the man has his birth through the woman; and all things originate from God."
- Gal. 3:26-28 - "For you are all sons of God through faith in Christ Jesus. For all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ. There is neither slave nor free man, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus."
- Eph. 5:21 - "And be subject to one another in the fear of Christ."
Gundry says:
"A growing number of believers are questioning these old formulas and roles taught for so long as the only biblical way to relate in marriage. They are measuring the claims behind those formulas and role expectations against sound Bible interpretation. Finding the roles and formulas inadequate, they are moving on into a relationship of equals based on firmer biblical footing."My husband and I are among them. Years ago we tried to pattern our marriage according to the rules we had been taught. He tried to lead and I tried to follow. We worked to squeeze ourselves into the narrow confines we had been told was our place. We didn't fit very well, but we thought it was just us, so we kept trying. Over the years through our own personal Bible study, we gradually came to doubt that the basis for those traditional teachings was biblical. We became convinced the Bible does not give us rigid rules for marriage or roles we must copy. Instead, we found biblical principles applicable to all relationships, including marriage. And the overriding principle for relationships among believers seemed to be that of mutual submission.
"A marriage based on the principle of mutual submission goes beyond roles and formulas and makes them unnecessary. It become a marriage of equal persons and makes possible the intimacy so many people are longing for today,"
Gundry: HEIRS TOGETHER: MUTUAL SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE, pp. 22-23.
Bibliography on Passages in the New Testament Teaching Mutual Submission
Boyce, David and Lori Boyce. "Mutuality: Marriage on the Growing Edge," DAUGHTERS OF SARAH, Vol. 8, November/December, 1982, pp. 9-11.
Gundry, Patricia. HEIRS TOGETHER: MUTUAL SUBMISSION IN MARRIAGE. Grand Rapids: Zondervan, 1982.
Knowles, Charles O. LET HER BE, RIGHT RELATIONSHIPS AND THE SOUTHERN BAPTIST CONUNDRUM OVER WOMAN'S ROLE. KnoWell Publishing, 2005.
Malcolm, Kari Torjesen. BUILDING YOUR FAMILY TO LAST. Downers Grove: IL: InterVarsity Press, 1987.
Rallings, E. M. and David J. Pratto. TWO-CLERGY MARRIAGES: A SPECIAL CASE OF DUAL CAREERS. Lanham: University Press of America, 1984.
Scanzoni, Letha D. and John Scanzoni. MEN, WOMEN AND CHANGE: A SOCIOLOGY OF MARRIAGE AND FAMILY. 2nd ed. New York:McGraw Hill, 1976.
Stapleton, Jean and Richard Bright. EQUAL MARRIAGE. Nashville: Abingdon, 1976.
Tetlow, Elisabeth Meier and Louis Mulry Tetlow. PARTNERS IN SERVICE: TOWARD A BIBLICAL THEOLOGY OF CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE. New York: University Press of America, 1983.
Wright, Linda Raney. A CORD OF THREE STRANDS. Old Tappan, nj: Fleming H. Revell, c1987.
An organization that has books and materials on mutual submission in marriage is Christians for Biblical Equality.
