Do my bare feet decieve me?
Or have I tread these waters before?
Did I not bathe in them?
Did I not, in fact, drown in these very waters?
Yes, yes;
but that was another dream long ago
and I had pulled all stops.

And now you lend me your ceiling;
With it's fancy border-trim.
As you kindle the fire-
wondering if I will stay the night

Again.

Lost at sea
this corporate vessel
of ours hits the rocks

Like two thieves
in desperation
we go stealing
into the night

Have you felt
the fear?
A getaway driver
careening
Fear much like that
of a cold automatic
against my temple

Tomorrow

We set sails

Flow;

Softly, gentle, slowly.

All is quiet

You hold me close-
Your warm breasts excite me so.

A kiss in the dark;

Crisp sheets.

I explode.

On The Celibacy Of Barbara Bates

Who on Earth would drink your potion?
Who in Hell would sip a taste?
Now that it has gone to waste;
I haven't the faintest notion.

Where on Earth do you go to hide?
Where in Hell you stow the tears?
We must all confront our fears;
Abandon that foolish pride.

Love was the one which to blame;
Blind rage and forbidden rapture-
Hang their heads in shame.

What on earth are you doing there?
What in Hell, are your plans?
Now that you've lost all your fans;
Remember, I will always care.

How on Earth will you get back home?
How in Hell will you survive?
You're not dead, though you're not alive;
Lost souls shall forever roam.

The piper is dead now;
Who's tune do we march to?
The pits of ruin are bottomless.
We run-
In opposite directions.
Scurrying back and forth;
Like the rats in the maze-
That we all are.

Sudden Rapture

Soaring through clouds free as butterflies
My senses awaken
Up, up, withersoever they flow

Firmly grasping the reins
I mount this wind
This sudden rapture
Never letting go

Surrendering pleasantly
As the brisk air rejuvenates me
And fills me with ecstasy

What rights have these demons?
To go creeping through my soul.
I've had my confirmation and communion.
I partook of the Holy Eucharist.
Lord of my life, you have abandoned me.
I have failed you.

What manner of life is this?
Hiding behind this facade we call love.
I have never burned a bridge behind me.
This one needs to be set ablaze.
The days and nights become a blur.
I have lost it.

What will the outcome be?
When the last card is dealt and played.
I never wanted to play this charade.
We all swore we had it made.
Now Love has been laid to pasture.
Yes, we killed it.

Dragging my pen along this highway;
This turnpike where the sun beats on my visor-
I dare not ask the hows or whys.
The rest area offers no such answers-
Only bubbling beverages which do not quench my thirst.
You sit there, wearing your face;
Blank, expressionless, void of any emotion;
Perched as though about to burst.

Yesternight you would not heed my advice;
Chosing to prove me wrong, you did your dance.
You could go all night, sweating under the lights.
I departed unannounced, like some night prowler;
Finding my way through the writhing bodies-
Intoxicated with Gin and Tonic.

And the lights Green and Blue;
The lights Red and Violet
The lights which pulsed in my head-
No longer shine;

Only a faint flicker does remain.

Initial Impulse

Floating;
Drifting ever so lightly
Reaching out-

Your hand.

Auras radiating, we proceed with caution.
Child-like, curious, I ask questions.
Unimportant.

Your laughter rings,
Like a Major Seventh chord
Softly strummed on a Baliset
As I anticipate your every gesture
With bated breath

You are the headlight of a night-bound train;
And I the quiet countryside.

An Excersise In Minimalism

gentle breeze
from the west
blew into my life
hyacinth
gardenia
rose
hydrangea
potpourri blend
blissful fragrance
carry me away
land of dreams

my heart pounding
whenever you speak
your voice sings
song of the lark
your laugh
your sigh
symphony of sound
your words
moving mountains
parting seas

every breath
your pulse beat
bringing night and day
dusk and dawn
your eyes
blue skies
your smile
the sun
tears of joy
rainbow sunshower
i live

On the run again; fly by night.
Nowhere to turn, no end in sight.
Hollow tears flood green.
Chinatown memories loom in the dark.
The music too loud, shattering crystal thoughts.

Never look back, is that how my sermon went?
The past was always pale, so pale.
And stains on our love, Terra Cotta;
As the kickwheel spins for the last time.

Metal peacock rusts on the mantle.
While the master poets collect dust on the shelf.
The cat?
He was orphaned.

Prescient memories of futures poison me-
With their spices of pasts, Grey and Blue.
Looking to the new path, I strap on
This backpack filled with hopes and dreams

Never looking back.

Jupiter is where we want to go;
Far away, beyond the stars.
It's the next stop after Mars-
Juipter, yeah, that's right!
You want to go?
How could you know?
Jupiter is where we'll go.

I've had it with this life.
I'm packing in this world.
I'm leaving late tonight.
I'll take my favorite girl.

This old town has us really way down;
Break away, leave it behind.
If they miss us, we won't mind-
Jupiter, yeah, that's where!
Hear what I say?
Let's go away.
No chance to stay.
Jupiter is where we'll play.

Finally; After all this time-
Of being led to the fountain
Without so much as a sip,
I swam your seas.

Kneeling at the edge of the brook-
I quenched that long-held thirst.

Muffled moans;

Cold feet on my side-

You were calling my name.

J.L.

J.L. get well
I hate to see you this way
Your drinking cup is drying up
Day by day
Slow, cool, no fool
Would do it all over again
You take your time, just save me mine
Tell me when

Let's go away to the ends of the Earth
No one would find us, too far away
You and I, we could fly
Let's go away

J.L. you fell
Somewhere along the way
The ice was thin, you fell right in
Play by play
You're out, no doubt
Out in the cold all alone
No peace of mind, when will you find
Your way home

Let's fly away to the ends of the Earth
No one could find us, too far away
You and I, we should fly
Let's go away

J.L. don't tell
I could never forgive you if you did
It would be so bold, if you told
What we did
Hang tough, be rough
Life is what you hold in your dreams
Love goes 'round like a merry-go-round
So it seems

Your lips;
Move..........
Excite my innermost desire.
Shining, glistening, weaving words;
Musical.

They part; your tongue briefly escapes-
Only to hastily retreat;
And hide.

Nervously biting your lower lip, you blush;
Like the sweet child you are.
And I, dumbfounded, struck with awe;

Can only fantasize,
And merely speculate;
On the taste of your kiss.

For Us

like a moth drawn to the fire
you spread your delicate wings
carelessly dancing about the eternal flame
that is me burning for you

as though in a trance you dared whisper my name
and I have responded in technicolor

like little air bubbles
rising from the mud you cause ripples
at the surface of the ocean that engulfs you
which is me

how long we have thirsted for each other
parched from past lives of arrid emptiness and unfulfilled desires

like the wind blowing through leaves
you whistle your song of fate
pushing bending tugging
at the tree of life that I am

and now as before time stands still waiting for us to play catch up
granting us one final opportunity to get it right

This comes as no surprise.
I knew it all along.
No regrets.
No tears swell in my eyes, I'm the one who's strong.
That's what I get.
All the truths you've told me;
Are only now exposed as lies.
We both knew someone would get hurt.
We both knew it would be me.
Neither of us cared, you still don't.
And so, you carry on;
Starting fires and putting them out, all in one breath.
In the end, it really was nothing more than a game for you.
A hopeless one at that, for me.
Pain?
Guilt?
Regret?
You don't even know the meaning of those words.
You only know fear, like the coward you are.
Don't worry about me, I will survive.
I may limp a little bit, but I'll be fine.
I'll get to where I'm going.
But will you?
How can you, when you don't even know where it is you are heading?
Much less where you have been.
You only know where you are.
Nowhere.
Thank you for enlightening me to my foolish ways.
Thank you for reminding me that the heart is indeed a stupid thing.
I had almost forgotten.
I will never again.

Thirty years later;
I Still have not found her.
Elusive Snowflake
Evades my Love.

Oh, sweet youth and precious freedom:
Rescue me;
From this hard old man-
Chewing his nails;
Smoking stale cigarette butts,
With a pint of Bacardi Rum.

If God listens,
Why does he not answer?
Perhaps he has moved away;
Leaving us for lost in this green rhythm.

Turn the pages on that calendar, boy!
Where in Hell have you been
All this time?

The children have all grown up;
And there's no one left-
To play with.

Those eyes
And the pain
That hides within them

The tears
That flow
In which you drown

Those lips
And the joy
That dances on them

The laughter
Which rings so sweetly
Disguising a frown

That heart
And the fire
That burns inside

The passion
That stirs
With every beat

The love
That cries
Unheard

That feeling
So bitter
Yet sweet

It's all you

emptiness
devoid of thoughts
i want to be numbed
i have no desire
to feel see hear smell or taste
anything on earth

my heart beats involuntarily
and i do not breathe
i merely inhale tobacco and release sighs
at any other time i might have rationalized
but not now
not in this particular situation
not given this exact set of circumstances

in the eye of my heart i see nothing
only a hollow sadness
which echos a truly dark cry

everything and everyone eventually expires
nothing lives on forever
not even love nor god
least of all life
yet i thirst for that infinity
knowing that i inevitably must go unquenched

and now the tears come pouring
drowning me in a sea of despair

someone once said that you can't get off this wheel of karma
that you can't stop the hands of time
how right they were
when one has lost the will to live
what takes over then?
who's command does one heed?
certainly not god's
there is no god
there is only love
and hate

how short life is
how quickly we age
we are born
only to begin dying
in that most fleeting moment we are shown the light
the fire of being
only to have it extinguished
in the end we are nothing more than ashes
we return to that nothing from whence we came

Haiku For My First-Born

child abandons parent
countless times
only to return
parent is steadfast
such is their bond

winter gives way to spring
Snow melts
nourishing trees
pretty leaves
turning toward the sun
majestic
soon wither and fall

go forth
conquer and divide
make your mark
breathe
I await