DIAMONDVILLE- THE
WORLD'S ONLY NEIL DIAMOND THEME PARK
Welcome to the "other" Happiest Place
on Earth, DIAMONDVILLE. We feature over 3 dozen rides and attractions,
fine dining, beautiful parks and walkways and Neil shrines. Don't miss
our shopping center, Fear of the Marketplace,
which features many one-of-a-kind shops. You don't have to be a Diamondhead
to love Diamondville! Bring your spouse, your kids, your friends and have
the most memorable experience of a lifetime- that is: short of getting
that front row ticket and a kiss from the man himself!
Diamondville
is comprised
of 5 roadways- Neil's "walks of life". Each roadway and associated land
tract contains some of the finest rides and attractions in the country!
These are: Beautiful Noise Plaza, Brooklyn
Roads, Crooked Street, Glory
Road and Memphis Streets.
We
feature world-class facilities for your comfort and enjoyment. We have
the only restrooms with Neil-motif wallpaper in the world. We also have
a plethora of Neil shrines so Neil worshippers can always find a spot to
"say a little prayer". Our bulletin board at the Beautiful
Noise Plaza provides space for all of Neil's fans to post pictures
of their kids, grandkids, dogs who just had puppies, Christmas lights,
or post right-wing or left-wing political rants, yammering about sports,
pleas for emotional support, theological discussions, and anything and
everything under the sun. Neil fans are encouraged to indulge their every
whim here, so don't ever feel left out or shut out by the evil "Post
Police".
Just outside our park, you will find Fear
of the Marketplace, our Neil-themed mall that's open to the
public. You don't need an admission ticket to experience a bit of Diamondville!
Fear
of the Marketplace is the only place where you'll find shops
like "The Realm of the Frog King" and "The Feel of Neil". Fear
of the Marketplace is the perfect place for Neil's grown-up
fans to entertain themselves after-hours. We have a casino and three dance
clubs that will keep you delighted and amused all day and all night long.
Also located nearby is the official Diamondville
hotel, Holiday Inn Blues.
Free transportation between Fear
of the Marketplace, Holiday Inn Blues
and Diamondville is provided via our "Diamondville Bus Call Trams".
For a closer look at Diamondville,
click on any of our 6 map sections below:
See our map in full-screen (1024 x 768
resolution recommended)
Diamondville
full-screen map
Don't miss out on Diamondville's
two after-dark shows:
-
The "Dancin In the Streets" Parade
- Find yourself a spot alongside of the parade route from the Beautiful
Noise Plaza to Crooked Street.
-
"Broad Old Woman" fireworks display
- where the good times ain’t over til the Fat Lady sings!
"CD, MP3 and Video Pirates of the Caribbean". Watch
as Neil's "protectors" at Sony and the RIAA attack and seize illegal cargo
from those dastardly CD, MP3 and video pirates! Fourth Amendment? Search
Warrant? What's that? No more "Yo ho, Yo ho! A pirate's life for me!" Yep,
cheer as BIG record companies retain their exclusive right to release the
same old stuff, over and over, ad nauseum.
HOLIDAY INN BLUES: This
luxury hotel provides all of the modern amenities that Neil's well-heeled
fanbase has come to expect. Visit the "Velvet Gloves and Spit Suite", an
amazing mock-up of Neil's real 1968 Holiday Inn experience. The room (the
bridal suite) has an excellent view of the parking lot (with 2 1967 Plymouth
wagons permanently parked there) and endless reruns of old Charlie Chan
movies.
Other Happenings
at "Holiday Inn Blues"
Neil Diamond Fan Convention, followed
by group attendance to a Neil concert (touring years only)
Annual Neil Diamond Birthday Parties
(Neil attendance optional, very optional). Also we have smaller anniversary
parties for landmark dates like Winter Garden, Hot August Night, Thank You Australia, Tennessee Moon
filming; Marjorie, Elyn, Jesse and Micah's birthdays; Neil's signing to
Bang, Uni, Columbia; "Neil's first session with Lee Holdridge" Day; and "JLS/Jazz
Singer" Movie Premiere Day.
"Black Armband Day" Memorial Dinners -
to commemorate the "sad" days such as: the day Neil & Babs recorded
the YDBMF duet, the day Neil started teaming up with Burt Bacharach, the
days Richie Bennett and Dennis St. John left the band.
"Neil Diamond Memorabilia Flea Market/Swap
Meet"- Similar to a craft show with booths, and an area for fans to
take their "stuff" for someone to set a "value" to them. We turn a "blind
eye" to bootleggers!
Neil Lookalike contests (winners are
offered jobs at Diamondville)
"Name That Diamond Tune" nightly at
the hotel bar
"Neil's Hair Through the Ages" gallery-
Framed pictures of all of Neil's different hairstyles, from greaser to
hippie to mad scientist to the current "matinee idol with a rug" look!
"Neil's Museum of Clown Shirts"- See
all of Neil's modern-art clown shirts, from 1989-1993!
"Museum of Neil's '70s designer jeans and
other costumes!"
"Sleep With Neil's Sheets" Suite- A
special room, where you can pay extra to sleep on Neil's freshly unlaundered
sheets! Genuine Neil scent and cigar smoke. Not recommended if you're allergic
to smoke.
Related Pages:
Diamondville
Theme Park Merchandise
Disclaimer: DIAMONDVILLE-
THE WORLD'S ONLY NEIL DIAMOND THEME PARK is not affiliated with Neil Diamond,
or any official organization representing Neil Diamond. We are not Diamondville:
Neil Diamond's band/ touring entourage. We are not the city of Diamondville,
Wyoming. And we are not Disneyland.
Tickets to DIAMONDVILLE- THE WORLD'S
ONLY NEIL DIAMOND THEME PARK are for sale, but bear in mind that the
buyer will receive only the physical ticket (i.e. piece of paper with a
printed image). Actual admittance to Diamondville and the ability to physically
experience the rides and attractions as described is impossible, as Diamondville
exists only on the virtual and/or imaginary plane.
DIAMONDVILLE- The World's Only Neil
Diamond Theme Park is joint effort brought to you by the fertile imaginations
of:
Midnight Trisha
ZMOQ
Copyright 2003, T. Gerrald and K. F. Louie.
May not be reproduced without the written permission of the authors.
Our founders had said, "Diamondville
will never be completed. It will continue to grow as long as there is imagination
and Neil Diamond fanaticism in the world".
Any ideas for new rides and attractions
can be sent to us at:
We
are the Diamondville Theme Park! Send us mail!
Oh,
you wanted the OFFICIAL
Diamondville
page! The one that's all about Neil Diamond's band! Click here instead!
There's
no place like HOME
