Subject: NEW TNG The Walls of Jellico 5/6 From: sratliff@runet.edu (Stephen Ratliff) All: NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!! Mike: May God have mercy on our souls. Tom&Crow: Amen. Date: Mar 4, 1998 11:51 PM Message-id: <6dlb0b$c3l@newslink.runet.edu> Title: The Walls of Jellico Crow: There's always room fo- Mike [laughing softly]: We'll have no more of that. Author: Stephen Ratliff Series: TNG, Marrissa Stories [Tom's dome flies off, accompanied by a bizzare cartoonish "whistle sound"] Mike [looking down in Tom's direction]: Y'ok, Tom? Tom [sighing]: Yeah, I'll get it... [Tom ducks down] Rating: [G] Codes: none Crow: Meaningful content: none. Part: 5/6 Note: I forgot to split the last chapter from the epilogue, so this is one part longer than I intially thought. Mike [sarcastically]: Gee. Thanks. Chapter Four Once the two exited Sickbay, Jay turned to Marrissa and said, Crow: Bite me. Mike: Too easy, Crow. "I think we have a court-martial on our hands." "I'll agree with that," Marrissa replied as they entered the turbolift. "Deck Two. Mike: Okay. [makes two exaggerated punching sounds] [Tom looks up, now fully domed] Tom: Huh? What offenses have we got?" "Destruction of Evidence, Obstruction of Justice, and possibly Murder," Jay listed. Crow: Dial "M" for murderesness. "Murder?" Marrissa said, falling back against the turbolift wall. Tom: ...and shattering her skull, spilling blood and vital fulids all over the floor... Mike [to Tom]: Now that was just dark. "When did this become a murder investigation." Crow [as Jay]: Uh...I think it was when someone was murdered. "When Lieutenant Jellico ordered the mission over the objections of the wing commander," Jay replied. "Lets not rush into this," Marrissa said, standing up Mike: To pee. Crow: I wouldn't put that past her... straight again. "We need to talk to Jellico, and find out who deleted those files." "Well, he's the only one on that list," Tom: Well *that* narrows it down. Jay remarked, as the turbolift opened to the officer's corridor below the bridge. "The pilots couldn't, Mike: They can never go under pressure! and Kathy's relatives only had a motive if she did, and I don't think she does any more" The two entered Marrissa's office. Marrissa sat down in her overstuffed chair behind her desk, and Jay took up residence on her couch. Crow: He set up a quaint little ranch house on her couch. "Oh?" Marrissa inquired. "What got rid of her motive?" "The flight logs show she did everything possible to save her pilots," Mike: ...except stop shooting at them. Jay replied. "We know they haven't been tampered with," Jay said, clasping his hands behind his head as he leaned back. "And if she had no motive, neither did her relatives." "True," Marrissa replied, picking up a PADD from her desk. "Shall we call Lieutenant Jellico in for questioning?" "Might as well," Jay replied. "Has the Computer Security Officer tracked down the terminal or user who deleted those files?" Tom: Are the terms 'user' and 'terminal' interchangeable? Mike: Why are you asking me? I can't even set the clock on the VCR. [bots giggle] "Fighter Bay Launch Control Room," Marrissa informed. "Not exactly an easy place to pin users down in." "How exactly were those files deleted?" Mike: We think they were dragged into the Trash, sir. Jay inquired. "We did have an investigative lock on them." "Ensign Chu tells me that they were renamed then deleted," Crow: Must've been a real expert hacker. Marrissa replied, tossing the PADD back down on the table. "Only the Fighter Commander and above can rename Flight Control files." "I think we have our suspect cornered then," Jay remarked, moving his arms back down to cross them over his chest. "What do you say we call him down?" "Commander Picard to Lieutenant Jellico," Tom: Picard was demoted? Crow: No, this is that 'adopted daughter of Picard' thing...y'see, she's a... Mike & Tom [interrupting Crow]: Fanbot! Crow: Hey! Marrissa ordered. "Report to my office immediately." Mike [with a lisp]: And bring me a soda with some ice in it! Jay took up position behind Marrissa as they waited for the Fighter Commander to arrive. The door chimed, and Marrissa ordered, "Come." [all giggle] Tom: Boy, she *is* demanding and power-mad! Mike: Let it go, guys...let it go. Lieutenant Jellico entered the office, supremely confident. He strutted across the room to stand before the desk. Tom: He then exposed his plumage and started shrieking "Ah-LOOKAH! Ah-LOOKAH!" "Reporting as ordered, sir," he sneered, believing that there was nothing the two teenagers could do to him. "Please sit down," Marrissa ordered in a calm and confident tone. "I perfer to stand," Mike: ...to pee. Crow: Geez, Mike, AGAIN? Tom: Yeah Mike, what's your deal? Jellico replied, continuing the battle of wills he had begun with Marrissa when he came on board. "That wasn't a request," Crow [as Marissa]: "I said COME!" [Tom giggles. Mike sighs loudly] Marrissa replied. Jellico took a seat in the overstuffed chair in front of Marrissa's desk. "Thank you for coming so quickly, Mr. Jellico. As you know, Lieutenant Gordon and I are investigating the accident Red Wing had two days ago. Mike: We had to dismiss him from school to change his pants and clean him up. In our investigation several questions have come up that you may be able to answer." Tom: 1, who was the only player to be demoted to the minors with a .355 batting average? Mike: 2, when was the magna charta signed? Crow: 3, what's this in my pocket? "I will answer them to the best of my ability, sir," Tom: BZZT!! Wrong answer! Jellico replied, suddenly realizing the seriousness of the two young officers. Lieutenant Gordon was glaring at him with such fierceness that he suspected that even Klingons would feel like deer caught in the headlights of an oncoming car. Mike: They have cars in the 24th century? Crow: Yeah! Wait a minute! "Very well," Marrissa responded. "What where your orders to Red Wing?" Mike [very loud and deliberate]: RIBS AND CHICKEN PLEASE. Jellico momentarily considered saying he'd given no orders, but realized that the two weren't that incompetent. "I ordered Red Wing to do the Genma training routine in the trailing Trojan Asteroids," he said. Crow: Whoa! Tom: Hehehe...maybe you could use a "Training Routine in the Trojan Asteroids", Mike! Mike: Ok, that's enough... "Where there any objections," Jay asked. "Lieutenant Lochard made some noise, but it wasn't much," Crow: Wasn't he 'Locheart' in the last one? Mike: You were paying attention? Jellico remarked, dismissing the objection. "Did the Wing Commander say that her wing, which had three members fresh out of the Academy, was not ready for a real life training session," Crow: Is that another way of saying they're too young to have a job? Jay recited from memory. "Something to that effect," Jellico replied. "But I dismissed it because of their previous performances." "Did Lieutenant Lochard suggest an alternative?" Marrissa asked. Tom [as Jellico]: Yes sir! He said I could "cram it with walnuts"! "She suggested we do it in the holodeck, but I felt it was time for real life experiences," Jellico answered. "The Holodeck is good, Mike: But butter is better. but their is just some things that it can't duplicate." "You are aware that we do have a full simulation program for that asteroid cluster," Marrissa stated. "Yes, Blue Wing is training in it right now," Jellico said. "You are aware that Star Fleet has placed a warning about flying in the Trojans?" [all giggle] Jay asked, sternly, his eyes burning into Jellico's soul. "I am," Jellico replied, fearful for the first time in the questioning. "Did you erase the filed flight plan from the computer?" Crow [as Jellico]: No, the battery in my laptop died. Jay interrogated, moving up to stand up against the desk. Jellico didn't say anything. His eyes flashed with fear, and his face drained of color. Jay continued his questioning. "Did you delete the training orders for Red Wing?" Jay asked, his eyes still focused on Jellico. Jellico tried to tear his eyes away from the JAG Officer. Mike: How'd the JAG officer get his eyes? Tom: [as Jellico, making strained grunting noises]: Give me those! Something about the determined vestige of the fourteen year old Lieutenant Crow: More like 'demented'... reflected the doom that Jellico felt back onto his soul. The answer seeped out of him in a whisper, "Yes." As Jellico slumped in the chair, realizing that his career was over, he heard Commander Picard call, "Security to the First Officer's Office. Arrest Lieutenant Jellico for Destruction of Evidence, Obstruction of Justice, and Murder." His life was over now. Mike [monotone]: The life is now over. Please remain seated until the life has come to a complete stop. As he slumped in the chair, drained of all motivation, he said in a sobbing tone, "You got what you wanted, Picard. I'm out of your way now." "I never wanted that," Marrissa replied, sorry that things had come to this point. "I was just trying to make you the best Fighter Commander you could be. Crow: Ratliff seems to have gotten a spell-checker. Tom: Thank God for that. I tried to help you, make things easy for you take over Fighter Command. When you said that you didn't want my help, I stopped. Perhaps I shouldn't have. I suppose we'll be wondering what went wrong for the rest of our lives." Jellico looked back up at the young First Officer in a new light. He looked back at the actions he'd seen her do since he came aboard. Mike: Once again, let it go. He saw her invitations to the weekly poker games to new officers as an attempt to get to know them better, not to set up some conspiracy. Jellico remembered the sing-a-longs in Seven Slightly Starboard. [all snicker] Tom: Sing-a-longs? In the 24th century? Crow: You'd think humans would've evolved past that... They were not to keep him up late, but to give a sense of community to a warship with lots of new crewmembers. The objections to demoting Lieutenant Ducat were not some test of power, it was concern that an officer that she knew was capable was being unfairly treated because of his race. Mike [in a booming voice]: Racism...OF THE FUTURE! Perhaps Lieutenant Commander Picard wasn't so bad after all. Crow: She was fun to talk to and nice to smell. Then the security officers entered the room. They roughly stood him up and began taking him out of the room. Lieutenant Ross Lochard led them, saying when he struggled because the grip they had on him hurt, Tom: Huh? Crow [innocently]: Mike, why didn't that make any sense? Mike [comforting Crow]: I don't know, honey...I don't know... "Stop struggling, you're going to the brig." "No," Commander Picard said from behind him. Ross turned back in inquiry. "Confine him to quarters. There is no need to restrain him any more than that. Restrict Computer access and that will be enough." Jellico wanted to thank Commander Picard for the gesture of kindness but the Security Officers pulled him out of the room too fast. At his exit, Marrissa slumped back in her chair. Jay moved around to where Jellico had been sitting and perched on the left arm of the chair. Mike: Jay want cracker! Want cracker! AAAWWWKKK!! "What's wrong Marrissa?" he asked. "I had such hopes for Jellico," Marrissa said. "He was an excellent pilot with excellent ratings across the board. If he would have just learnt Tom: "Learnt"? The hell? Crow: So, he's gone from bad spelling and bad grammar to making up words..? [Mike sighs loudly, again.] that there is a limit to everything he could have been an excellent commanding officer. I hate it when I fail with an officer." "You need something to take you mind off work for a while," Jay remarked. "Isn't the Star Fleet Invitational tomorrow?" Crow: Yes, and the re-animated corpse of Jack Nickalus is going to win it again! "Yes, my cousin Isabelle is returning to racing tomorrow," Marrissa said. "She hasn't raced a horse since she placed in the Belmont Stakes two years ago. Motherhood hasn't given her the time." "And now she's returning to racing," Mike [as a very interested Marissa]: Really? Where did you hear that? Jay said. "You really should go see her." "Are you asking me out on a date, Jay?" Marrissa replied. "If you can get tickets," Crow [as Jay]: I'll scalp 'em. Jay replied. "That race day is always sold out." "I've got rights to the Stargazer Stables owner's box," Marrissa stated. "I don't need to worry about tickets. Mike [again, as Marissa]: I dont need no stinkin' tickets! I've got a 21 minute Kobiashi Maru time! The box fits 20 and the Enterprise is busy patrolling the Cardassian Border, so that just leaves me, Marie, Theresa, and little Rene to use it. I'm sure I can get in." "What about any of Isabelle's friends?" Jay asked. "Unfortunately Isabelle lacks many," Marrissa said. "I don't know why, but I think it's roughly the same reason I have trouble making new friends with people my age." Crow: Beacause you're dominating and power-mad? Tom: There you go. "You have trouble making friends?" Jay asked, surprised. "I'd think that people would want to be friends with you. I know I'm lucky to count you among my friends." Mike [as Jay this time]: Besides, the sex is fan-tastic! Those losers don't know what they're missin'! "You were my friend before I got to all the things that keep me from getting new friends," Marrissa said. "You knew me before I became the Captain's daughter, which lead anyone on board the Enterprise who didn't already know me to behave as if they were on pin cushions. Then when I discovered my royal heritage anyone outside the ship approached me as if I was some sort of holy person. Tom [as Marissa]: I wish they started earlier! My rank stops me from being friends with anyone within a decade of my age because, I'm at least two ranks above them and it's not right to associate with senior officers." "I can see the problem you face," Jay remarked. "And you do need some time off. I think your position is getting to you." Crow [as Jay]: It looks like your arm would fall asleep if you did that too long. "Only on days where I have disappointments with officers," Mike: Huh? Marrissa replied. "I'll probably get someone else to disappoint me to replace Jellico." "Don't be so pessimistic," Jay remarked. -- Stephen Ratliff Tom: ARRRGGGHHH! [composing himself] Sorry, conditioned response. Crow: Is that what it does to you? I start drooling. [Mike visably moves away from Crow] CS Major, Radford University. sratliff@runet.edu Radford, Virginia 24142-7496 rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc's polite target. Marrissa Stories Author http://www.cs.runet.edu/~sratliff/ http://www.cs.runet.edu/~sratliff/FAQs/ FAQ Maintainer for ASC. [Mike picks up Tom, as usual, and they make their way out of the theater.] Tom: Well, now I know where to send all those virii I got from the people at alt.2600. Mike [very confused]: Vee-ree? Crow: Viruses, Mike, viruses. The ASC Awards run 2/15/98 - 3/25/98 http://www.cs.runet.edu/~sratliff/awards/ "The path of the prophets sometimes leads into darkness and pain." -DS9's "Far Beyond the Stars" Crow [muffled slightly, offscreen]: You got that right. [Door sequence]